Well, our nation has committed a great disservice to the world. Once again we have been blinded by privilege, power, and money. I for one am angry, shocked, and disappointed. Not only have we re-elected someone with a history of harming the world, but in many places we have made it unconstitutional to marry the person you love.
As much as this hurts, we can’t wallow in these feelings. Remember that change is not made by people who sleep. As the amazing group Sweet Honey in the Rock sings, "We who believe in freedom cannot rest". We have a lot of work to do.
As your heart is angry today remember that "the only thing necessary for the perpetuation of evil is for good people to do nothing" (Jane Elliot). We cannot "sell-out" and relax in complacency. Yes, the easy thing is to relax and ignore the evils and harsh realities of life on this planet. The easy thing is to go to work, come home, watch TV, and not challenge ourselves. I for one pledge never to resign myself to accepting the system, and I ask you to join me.
We can use our voices.
We can use our actions.
We can use our pens.
We can use our purchasing power.
We have so many skills, we need to put them to use.
We need to work in communications and end this media domination by the right. We need to work in education and teach our children to think critically. We need to work in law and public policy. We need to work in marketing and sell social justice. Two weeks ago I was at a Baltimore Ravens football game. Over 60,000 people were willing to fight for a group of people to get a ball across a line. We need to tap into this energy. We need to use our talents, whatever they are, to fix this system.
It is time to reorganize and remobilize ourselves. Progressive peoples are lacking in real leadership these days. We cannot let this fact prevent us from tackling injustice and ignorance wherever we face it.
Let this election be a reminder to you of the importance of your role in the world. Together we can change so much.
"It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act." Tenzin Gyatso (14th Dalai Lama), 1999
04 November 2004
20 September 2004
Notes from my trip to Ghana: August 2004
04 August 2004
Ok, I’ve made it to Ghana!
My first flight was 3.5 hours late taking off, so I almost missed the second, yet I am here. My one little bag, however, is a different story. My fault, I didn't want to carry it around - should have. Oh, well, it will come tonight (we hope)
So far I don’t have many stories to tell. The second flight was interesting. I had a hard time with the business class thing. I kept reminding myself it was free, but it didn't help. Yes, the personal TV, the massager, the fact that it turned into a freaking bed and I got to pick from 8 movies was nice, BUT it wasn't worth it to me to have to watch people walk past me and sit somewhere where they didn't have those things, especially b/c I saw how racially divided it was. My second flight was mostly brown, but the business class was mostly white. After we dropped people off in Lagos, there was "open seating", but it was by class. People didn't know that so the guy had to keep making people leave the nice seats and go to the back. I felt like it was the 1950s on a bus somewhere - but not REMOTELY as horrid. It wasn't quite as easy to tell who was supposed to go to the back. It wasn't based as obviously in a legacy of racism, but that legacy obviously plays a huge part in who has and who does not. Regardless, it still kind of made me ill. I just want everyone to be treated the same, why is that so hard? Why is our world run on a power system controlled by money? Why do people with more money have more valued lives? Makes no sense to me.
I did sit next to an awesome guy from New Zealand though. We talked about the us for a long time. He decided that I should work for the UN. Glad I have strangers making these decisions for me.
hm...
First impressions? It’s more like Tanzania than I expected it to be. It is kind of like Dar es Salaam but not as huge of a city, more a sprawl situation. We are staying in a hotel in Accra till our luggage comes, and then moving on to cape coast (el mina, the slavery castles, and other things that I need to learn about). From there we will be going to Sodoke (where Anna lives). I won’t have internet access after today until we bring Jerod back to the airport in two weeks.
I haven't had any new foods yet, nor have I really experienced that many things different from my other trips. They have trotros here which are like the daladalas in TZ. I got to ride in one. They are essentially really rusted out vans that act as private buses. Always a good time.
I feel like I should have something profound to say, but really, I have just reinvigorated my belief that things need to change. There is no reason that we need such a wealth gap. If people are underprivileged, others by definition must be over privileged. It just hurts my heart to have to walk past the kids on the street. Every face I see, every set of beautiful eyes I look into, every heart choking down its dreams, and they all make me promise more greatly that I will do something meaningful with my life. That I will work to make the world a better place. I won’t give up.
I love you all and I promise that my next email will have lots of facts about Ghana and many many more incites. If you don’t want to hear it - let me know and I’ll keep it to my self. I normally have good reviews, except for the length :)
love always, krissy
08 August 04
Ok, so I have limited time, but SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!!
First to answer the questions. Yes I got my bag and no it isn't hot here at all (I’m serious, DC was much much worse, in fact, I have been cold the last two afternoons/evenings).
Secondly, I have to correct an error. I was wrong about Accra. It is a city. I was just staying in a part called Osu, and it is sort of suburban
Now that we got that out of the way. I’ll start by acknowledging the questions you are probably asking.
Where am I staying? Basically, cheap hotels. We are working on low budget here. Think 4 people to a double bed. Hey, it works. Think no a/c, but definitely a fan! After tonight we will be going to Anna’s village and staying in her house in a village called sokode (near ho in the Volta region).
How are the bathrooms? Well, in Accra they are quite nice, they even have toilet paper! Elsewhere, not so much tp. You don’t usually flush, not the cleanest, but it works. I have no complaints (wow, I’ve changed since middle school, huh mom and dad?).
Today I had an interesting bathroom experience. Most of the time we take public transportation called a tro-tro. It is similar to a daladala in Tanzania. Basically it is a 12 passenger van made to fit between 16 and 24 people (depending on if we are in an area where the limit is enforced). Anyway, today we took a bus (for you Ghanaians the stc). When they had a stop I got out using the "well". Turns out its kind of a trough you squat over. Definitely have never done that before. It was a little unnerving b/c a lot of women had missed and you had to kind of stand in a puddle, but, again, it works! :) I have no complaints. I have forgotten that you have to carry your own toilet paper though. I kind of had to "make do" with other things one time, but, I’ll spare you the details.
So... other random things before I get to the real stuff. Um. A lot of the time when you get to take the tro tro there are people who are preaching at the station while you wait (they don’t leave till they are full). They preach to your bus, and then ask for money. One time we were with another woman named Jackie (an amazing woman from New Zealand). She turned and asked the people behind us if the preacher was crazy. They said "he is preaching". She felt kind of bad.
This isn't coming out well because I feel rushed. urg.
basically, it’s interesting how differently I see things. the first time I studied abroad I was overcome by the women with baskets on their head or with babies strapped to their backs. the markets with people selling everything you could ever want. the fact that there was no hot water in the showers and no toilet paper, and that I slept with ants drove me nuts. I was also distracted by the goats and dogs, etc. however, I have to say that this time around my thoughts are much different. I guess you get those "differences" out of the way and it’s easier to be comfortable and really get to talk to people.
ok, I’m just going to take my time and write the things I want to say. if I don’t finish, I don’t finish.
so, a few days ago we went to cape coast. at cape coast there is a castle (cape coast castle). in fante it is called oguaa. so. the castle was built by people enslaved by the Swedes in 1652. it has changed hands 5 times in the 13 years following its creation. it was the headquarters of the British occupation until 1876... and, its purpose? well, for a large part of its history it was a place where slaves were traded.
we went to the castle and took a guided tour. I can't even tell you what that felt like. we started by visiting the male dungeon. the tour guide showed us the small room people lived in. there were over 700 people in each dungeon. they were forced to eat and go to the bathroom and everything in these rooms. there was no light and no ventilation. if they "acted up" (i.e. stood up for themselves) they were sent to horrid cells which were essentially death sentences (they would suffocate to death from lack of air). the guide said that the waste in the dungeon was over 2 feet high when archeologists excavated them. the average stay of a person in this situation was 6 weeks. it made me sick to think of the lack of humanity the enslavers had and in many ways continue to have today (now who are today's enslavers??). slave ships at the time couldn't reach shore so the men were forced through tunnels onto small boats where they were placed on big ships.
the women were treated just as badly as the men. in addition, they were raped.
in comparison to these things the governor had a huge room, with a great view, a lot of light and ventilation.
the fante people had been tricked into letting the governor build on this land. they were told they were signing a bond of friendship. it was supposed to expire after 100 years, Ghana wasn't "independent" until 1957 and it wasn't until 1960 when they were completely independent politically.
so, that is sort of a summary of what we saw. I can't believe that after studying this for so long I was actually there. now, here are my thoughts.
our (the united states') entire economy is based on the backs of West African slaves. I think about the debt we owe not only to this continent, but to African American people and am completely overwhelmed. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIED TO MAKE OUR COUNTRY WHAT IT IS! it is absolutely absurd to me that we think that west Africa and other "indebted nations" (i.e. former places that were COLONIZED) should pay us over $2 trillion in debt (to which interest of $700 million is added daily). this prevents money from going where it NEEDS to go - to housing, health care, education, EVERYTHING WE TAKE FOR GRANTED.
after touring the castle I sat and looked at the sea. I could just picture slave ships coming into view. thousands of PEOPLE packed together, covered in filth. I went back down to the dungeon and just felt the souls of all these people who were betrayed and treated worse than animals. what can you even feel? what can you say? I’m sorry? how in the world does being sorry cover what we did? (I know a lot of you want to tell me that "we" isn't the right word to use here, but it is we who benefit today from these actions, so, I chose to use it here). there aren't even words to describe how horrendous this entire thing is. is that why we don’t think about it? I mean REALLY think about it. yeah, we learn about slavery in history
classes, but it is just an abstract thing with no relevance to us. ha! our entire lives are built on this institution. everyday our wealth, comfort, etc is taken for granted. not only because we have it and others don’t, but because of WHY we have it. how can we say we KNOW this horrid history without FEELING it, without DOING anything about it? how can we be against reparations if we know this truth? I fail to understand how the wealthiest nation cannot attempt to help? why can't we cancel this erroneous debt? why can't we fund education in inner cities in the US? why can't we admit we have screwed up, that we continue to benefit from it, and do something to make it better?
ok, I’m still hurrying too much and not really being very articulate. I apologize for that. I’m really sleepy too.
now that I’ve completely alienated my audience, I’ll continue. (I feel like I need some comic relief here, so fill this space in with a joke of your own...)
so. after visiting cape coast we went to kakum national park. it was quite beautiful. we did a canopy walk (hiking on bridges atop the trees in a rainforest).
after that we traveled to Elmina - another slave port. this castle is 522 years old. it was built by the Portuguese and was the first "western" icon on the continent. after the Portuguese it was owned by the Dutch and British. it was very similar to cape coast castle in structure and horror. here there was a balcony which the governor would stand on. they would chain women to the cement below and he would choose one to rape.
after our tour here I went down to the women’s dungeon and just felt. it’s amazing to me that not only could these sorts of things happen, but that we continue to enslave people today. it may not be in the same manner, but it is obvious that Africa is still very much enslaved. look at the world bank/imf/ international debt. it’s horrid. why is it so hard to do what is right?
I have more stories about the castles, but this is getting long and I should talk about happy things too. I promise that these things don’t make me miserable. instead, I am able to take it all in and realize that I have a purpose in my life. that I need to do as much as I can to right these wrongs. I know a lot of you have told me that you think I feel "guilty", but I don’t. it isn't my fault that all this happened. it is however my responsibility as a privileged person to do something about it. as Tim wise says "to clean up the funk". otherwise, who will?
on a better note, our tour guide Tette was awesome and I got to talk with him a little bit afterwards. he had a great perspective on acknowledging the past, accepting it, learning from it, and moving on. I think that we forget the learning part a lot.
onto the happy stuff.
after the castles we went to busua beach. it was beautiful! it is in a small village (busua) and rather free of tourists. we stayed in a small hotel and ran into several peace corps peoples. we didn't really spend much time with them, but we did have some awesome experiences talking with other people who lived in the village. I made a great friend named Nathaniel. we spent a great deal of time talking with him throughout the day. that evening Anna, Jerod, and I ate dinner down the beach at a man named jerry's place. the food was amazing. after dinner he offered to "make good vibe" with me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to do it. anyway, jerry and friends ended up having a bonfire for us. Nathaniel came too. I got to spend the evening talking with him about everything from his favorite food to the world bank. I learned so much hearing his perspective on international economic policy. if I had more time I would be more clear about that. basically it was really hard for him to support the world the world bank is doing in Ghana. they are currently privatizing water (which I think is abhorred as water is a human right). we talked a lot about the greed of politicians. he compared bush to mugabe, which I didn't feel was much of a stretch. anyway, I learned a lot. this morning we went jogging on the beach barefoot. he was a little fast for me so I had to work hard to keep up.
oh, and jerry had a monkey named freedom. it fell asleep in my lap.
I have to say that traveling in small groups and not with a class is rather liberating. it’s amazing to have the freedom to spend time with people and get to know people who actually live where you are visiting. it’s like when I visited Jyoti in Dubai and really got to talk to her students.
I definitely have caught a travel bug. I’m trying to figure out ways I can work for not profits/ngos during the summer and make enough money to survive. any ideas? there is so much to learn! so many people to meet! the world is so small, yet so large. we are all so different, yet so much the same. I’m doing a lot of reflecting on life, the future, and what I want to do. anyone out there want to pay me to travel so I can just write about the world? all I need is food and a place to sleep. ;)
I love being out of the US. it’s such a contrast from DC in the villages here. I love that I haven't changed my clothes in 5 days (don’t worry, I have taken some cold showers). I love that we don’t always have electricity or running water. I love that I don’t need to wear makeup and that beauty is judged by the person you are and not how you look. I love that there is no extra "stuff". it’s so funny to me how so many of us think our happiness depends on things. I love that people are real. ah! I just love it!
I feel like this email is coming across as anti-American or anti-us. I don’t mean it to be at all. I love my home. I love the us. I just wish that we were a more reflective people. and I love that I have the ability to go to these places and learn so many new things. its b/c I live in a wonderful place that this is even possible.
I have to tell you that Anna and I are iming right now. this is silly b/c we are in the same computer lab. its also silly b/c we used to do it freshman year, even though we shared a desk.
wow. I have so much more to say, but I have written too much.
Anna is doing great. she is definitely in her element here. people love her and she loves them. she is beautiful.
I will leave you with the text of our favorite sign here in Ghana. the following appeared on the top of a building in cape coast:
"except the lord"
we aren't sure what that means, but it was pretty funny. almost as funny as the night there were some bugs in our bed and I asked Anna what it is like when you have bedbugs. I think I said "would you see one, or are there several". her response: "it depends on how many there are".
anyway, I’ll leave you to read the novel in peace. I’m sorry it is so long. I’m just learning so much!
love and peace, krissy
13 August 04
OK, so, in case you were wondering, I still love Ghana!
We got to Anna's village (Bagble) and it has been amazing. I think the easiest thing is to send you a day by day inventory of what we have been up to.
The first day in Sokode (the community of villages she lives in) we walked around and were introduced to everyone. There are only a few hundred people who live here, but it took us 5 hours. Some of my favorite people were Todia - he owns the local store/hang out. He gave us soda and tried to talk us into moving to Ghana. He is a super funny man. The other person who we met that was super cool was Solomon. He is very into politics. He sat with us for a few hours, gave us a beer, and talked about how bad Bush was for the world. We also talked about Ghanaian politics, and other African nations (Zimbabwe, Kenya, Liberia, Sierra Leone, etc). It was great to have someone to really talk to about all these things.
What I learned about Ghanaian politics I'll share briefly. It is a multiparty system, but, like the US there are two main parties. The NDC is similar to our democrats, and the NPP is like our republicans. There is also the CPP (started by Nkrumah) which is more like our Greens/Socialists. They have elections coming up in December.
Solomon also gave us our first Ghanaian meal - it was Banku and Okro soup (egg plant, other veggies, and fish (which I ate around) in palm oil). It was very good... yum!
The second day we were in Sokode I started with a short jog (or training as they call it here). I had one proposal, but told them my boyfriend at home would be mad. In the morning Anna, Jerod, and I worked on her farm with See-Saw and Comfort (two employees). They are amazing and we had a lot of fun. We also got treated to Palm Wine by some guys in the woods. The guys are hilarious, and the wine is amazing.
For lunch we had bobo - which is beans, gari, and plantains. Gari is cassava.
That afternoon we went to the neighboring village and met the chief. It was really fun, but slightly awkward. We were serenaded by American music television. This was followed by a math show. We just sort of sat in silence after initial conversation. Anna said that often the amount of time you spend with people is valued over the quality of the time. Who knows?
That evening we ate with her friends (who are amazing) and had Akple and okro soup. Her friends are Kweku, Kosi Fred, and Kosi Paul. I can't tell you how much fun we have. They have taught us several Ghanaian games (one is like mancala - I ended up being pretty good at that) and done other random activities with us. Basically, we just hang out a lot.
One thing that really bugs me is that people in the village here don't necessarily get paid. I learned that this morning. Benice is the employer at Anna's farm. See-saw and Comfort came down to work for her and have not been paid at all. Apparently that's just how it is. One day they will be paid (in theory). I got rather upset about this. They work so hard and are amazing people.
When I met Benice I got even more upset about it. She just sort of came in and ordered everyone around. She was telling Comfort and SeeSaw what to do in their own home (this was yesterday and they were making us lunch). Urg! The arrogance just hurt my soul. It wouldn't be PC for Americans to do, but the classism at home exists as well.
I'm not really being that clear on my thoughts again b/c I'm hurrying. Kosi Fred and Kweku are with us, but not really doing the internet thing.
Oh, I forgot! I have a new name. Initially I was named Ama by a man on a tro-tro, but when I got to Sokode they changed it to Akosua (hm, sound familiar Akos??) It means Sunday born (by the way, what day was I really born mom and dad?).
The third day we again went to the farm in the morning. We had some great talks with See-Saw and went and got our photo taken with the palm wine people (they were upset with us for not having our camera the day before, apparently photos are expensive here and they wanted one). See-Saw had a lot of good questions about things he has heard about the US and immigration. Why is it so hard for people who have melanin in their skin to immigrate, but not so hard for white people??? Messed up!
That day we also washed our clothes in a bucket. I'm getting good. My practice in TZ paid off.
After lunch we went to Kweku's and hung out. Kosi Fred decided that I was his new best friend. We played a lot of Mankala. They also made FuFu for us for dinner. I got to try and pound it, but we ended up just laughing at my lack of ability. So, that evening we had FuFu and light sauce. That was my favorite meal here.
I have to say, this trip is so much different than my others to Africa. Living in a town with people is so different than being a tourist. I am learning so much more about myself and about people in general. Things I can't yet articulate. Perhaps, when I return home, my email will be deeper and not so time-line-ish. You are probably bored...
The next day we again worked the farm in the AM and planted sticks. Apparently they will grow into a fence. That day we had lunch with See-Saw and Comfort (see above) and Benice was there ordering them around. The reason for her presence is b/c Mr. Bansah (Anna's landlord) threw us a Bobobo (those o's should be backward c's, but there isn't a key for that on the computer).
What, you may ask, is a bobobo?? Well, I didn't know either! It was supposed to start at 2 and at 3:45 we heard the drumming coming. A huge mass of people came with drums and were dancing. Initially we had to sit and watch and drink coconut milk (I love coconuts by the way). I have to say I was really uncomfortable having people "perform" for me. However, it was short lived and I got to join the dancing. The women were really patient with me in trying to learn the steps. After the first hour I started to get the hang of things and was more comfortable. It was so much fun. We danced for about two hours until the Ghanaian football match (Olympics) started and those with TV’s or access to a TV wanted to go watch. I also got anointed by Benice and others with beads. The only odd part was the drunk guy who wanted to pay special attention to Anna and me. The other women took care of that. The best part was afterwards when I was asked if I played music. They thought my
dancing was good (I have tried - that means good job). They may have just been being nice, but, I'll appreciate it.
Today we went with Kosi and Kweku to a place called Tobor falls. It was absolutely beautiful. We had a 45 walk in and out and stayed at the falls for about 45 minutes as well. The guys are so much fun. Kosi and I had a good talk about gender equality on the way home.
OK, so there are two things I wanted to write about but had forgotten in my last email.
One is this problem of money. People here need it. Tourism is a great way for them to get it. However, it seems to me a form of neo-colonialism. Like these "white saviours" coming and helping the poor black folk and spending their money. I don't know. I just wish that things were different. I wish we could drop the debt and work to really repair the damage we have done. I fear that instead we will continue on this destructive path until we succeed in destroying ourselves.
I like Anna's village b/c I don't feel that sense of tourism and white hierarchy as potently as I did in the tourist areas. Plus, I've made new amazing friends.
OK, this one was rather weak on deep thoughts, but, maybe when I get home and have more time to process everything I'll be better with that.
This weekend Kosi Fred, Kweku, and Kosi Paul are throwing us another bobobo. It will be a blast. Jerod leaves, and after that Anna and I will continue to play in Sokode. I think she is going to take me to a place called Odamasi which is a bead market. They have beads there that were used to buy people. My stomach hurts just thinking about it all.
I love you all and miss you. I am safe and happy (albeit a little dirty and smelly. Om, if you pick me up from the airport, I apologize now).
Peace, krissy
Thursday, August 19, 2004 11:25 AM
The internet is really, really slow today, so I may get frustrated, but we'll see.
So. After I last wrote to you we spent another night in Accra. There I went to the DuBois center. It is the house where DuBois lived for the two years before his death. He was being haunted/hunted by the CIA and Nkrumah invited him to live here. So, he did. The house was interesting, I didn't learn a lot, but it was awesome to see. All you who took Paideia should know who DuBois was. He was an amazing Pan-Africanist, and much more. One story about him is that he got his Doctoral degree from Harvard. However, he was turned down for admission many times. 1) because he was black and 2) they didn't think a Fisk degree was prestigious enough. He finally got admitted but they still made him take undergrad classes and get a second BA.
There is a lot more that he has done, and it is your homework assignment to find out (just practicing in case I am ever a teacher).
In addition to visiting his house/grave site, we tried to go to Osu castle.
Unfortunately, they have turned it into a state house and you can't visit it or take photos. We did wander around the outside until someone told us to go. He was named Benjamin and wanted to "take us as his friend".
Hm. I'm a little nervous about spending time writing this, because I fear I won't be able to send it, but we'll see.
One our way back to Ho we took a tro-tro. We got on and after it filled there was a man who tried to sell a magic water bottle. It was a thermos and if you drank water out of it, it heals any disease you may have. "malaria, asthma, stroke, heart attack, and whatever, and whatever", "stroke, head ache, and so on, and so on". It even "heals diseases for old people in advance". No body bought one, but someone did offer a lower price.
He also was selling tea that helps with both malaria and menstruation.
Oh, one funny quote from the trip was when we were laying in bed one evening. Anna called Jackie British (she is from New Zealand). Jackie responded by saying "I wish you were Canadian so I could call you an American".
On a similar note, so many of the people I meet ask me about Bush and what the chances are that Kerry will win. Bush is definitely not popular here; they all think that he does bad things for the American people and the world in general. At least the rest of the world is pulling for Kerry.
Before I forget, thank you to all you who sent birthday greetings. If you didn't, don't feel bad, I forgot too for most of the day. Besides, I probably don't know when yours is.
Once we got back to Sokode (on the 17th). We went to Kweku's and said goodbye to Kosi. Kosi went to Kumasi (a city in central Ghana) for work for a few months. It was sad to say goodbye, but I did get to give him an R.
Kelly CD (he really loves music and didn't know R&B) and my Nalgene bottle.
The guys are really impressed with Nalgenes and the fact that they don't break. Kweku said they spent a long time trying to break it.
Ah, Abra (Anna's Ghanaian name) has amazing friends. I can't tell you how much I enjoy hanging out with them.
The 18th we started the day at the farm and then went to Kweku's for lunch/dinner. En route I got to meet the town drunk. She is also the town midwife. Another reason that Anna says she will not have a child here.
I have learned that I am not good at pingpong and am a failure at Checkers - Ghana style. The rules are different, but I am not sure I really understand them.
I'm still struggling with what I wrote in the last email. I want to rescind the idea that everyone can accomplish anything in the US. I think that was too privileged to write. I don't face racism, poverty, and everything daily. I walk the streets here and think about how uncomfortable it is to be chased and called "yevu", but, like I have said before, I am treated as if I am a celebrity or someone important. I may not want to be and I may do everything I can, not to be, but that's how it is. People of color in the US are treated negatively and have to stand out. I have gone jogging here and, as I traveled the road, little kids have chased me and screamed "Yevu".
Never have I felt scared. Someone I know in Decorah once got run off the road on a bike because of the color of his/her skin. One of my friends had eggs thrown at him and told to "go back to Africa". So many non-blatant forms of racism overwhelm daily lives. The average worth of a white family with the same income of a black family is 8 times higher! This is based on the history that is defining today. Because people of color have been denied access to "owning" they were not able to acquire equity. White privilege is inherited financially. There are so many other ways that I really should write about, but I definitely would take the entire day.
Basically, I am saying, that not everyone has the opportunity to do whatever they want in the US, I wasn't really thinking about everything in that last email (but I still feel the entrapment of Anna's friends. I am still wondering how much of my personal biases shape this thought). So there. I have a lot more to say about this, but not a lot of time. I have a lot to learn. I will keep doing so, and then try and fix it. Wanna help?
This morning Abra and I spent 2.5 hours waiting for a meeting that was supposed to start at 10 (she says that happens a lot), so while we were waiting we drew up a conversation outlining her typical experience as she walks through town. Here it goes:
Townsperson: "Yevu sister Abra!"
Abra: "Good morning."
T: "Fine, morning, how are the people in the house?"
A: "They are fine."
T: "Are you fine?"
A: "Yes."
T: "Did you wake up strong?:
A: "Yes"
T: "Are you alive?"
A: "Yes (to this, I think she should start saying no, and see the reaction)"
T: "Where are you going?"
A: "I am going to (Ho (city near by), Senegal, American (to make people laugh))
T: "What will you do??"
A: "I am going to work."
T: "Will you return early?"
A: "Probably evening time. (sometimes to be funny "three days", etc)
T: "What will you bring me??"
A: (normal) "Bread/ biscuit, (funny) three cows/goats/horses"
Or
T: "Bring me bread."
A: "Ok" (She doesn't actually bring it, it is just a customary things to say when someone travels)
T: "Come in time."
A: "Ok."
Three minutes later
T2: "Are you awake?"
A: "Yes."
T2: "Are you well?"
A: "Yes."
T2: "Is the husband well?"
A: "I don't have a husband." (which everyone knows already)
T2 (if male): "I will take you as my wife."
A: "Wait, and ask my father."
-or, if T2 is female -
"You should marry my son." - or - "You are grown, why?"
T2: "Where are you going." (see last section) 30 seconds later, encountering someone from out of town.
A: "Good morning."
T2: "Hey! She speaks Ewe! Oh, you try! (means good job) I will take you as my friend."
A: "Ok."
T2: "Where are you going?"
(see above).
On a side note, I won't be able to respond to individual messages today, the computer is too slow.
So, on a not so happy note, the meeting this morning was to have a photo with orphans that the NGO Anna works for is assisting. There was a little girl with them who flinched a lot, and was really afraid of everything. We are wondering if she gets picked on and/or hit. She was being drug along by an older girl who was Developmentally Disabled. I think it is great that the organization is giving responsibility to someone with a DD, but she was a very angry child and kept hitting the little girl. At one point the little girl was crying. The older girl hit her, and no one did anything to 1) reprimand her, or 2) to comfort the little girl crying. I guess I don't know what to say about it. I'm at a loss for explanation and confused as to how much my American lenses block me.
The photo situation was also rather taxing. I was invited to be in the photo but didn't want to. Too often the experience of Peace Corps volunteers is simply bringing prestige to a place because they are white.
That's the way it is, so, is it good if the volunteer does it and helps the NGO? Should they refuse because it is simply cementing the idea of white being better?
As I said, I am learning a lot about myself here. I have learned that I really am an American. I like the US. I love traveling and staying in places for months, but I don't think that I could live in a "developing" country for real. Maybe if I was with the right people who were able to keep me grounded, or if I made the friends who would. (Unless, someone wants to pay me to be a travel writer, I wouldn't mind that. I may have some serious improvement to do in regards to the actually writing, but, yeah). I think that my frustration with things I didn't support in the culture would make me crazy. I am not sure how appropriate I think it is to change things somewhere else. (But, if I was a travel writer, I could give a new perspective to those who read what I write). I think that empowering people who want to make change is great, but you cannot force a culture to change. Who am I to use my western lenses to say that something is wrong?
Who am I to tell women they shouldn't wear a veil when they want to? (look what happened when the Shah did in Iran - ok, that is too simplistic, but, you get the idea). Who am I to tell women they shouldn't have a circumcision when it would condemn them to a life of being single and therefore have great difficulty surviving? Basically, I don't think I have the right to judge the way other people live. I think that we all are within a certain group, and it is our RESPONSIBILITY to help that group live morally. I am a white American. White Americans have a lot of work to do within their own group. Anyway, what I am saying is that if I lived
elsewhere I wouldn't be able to deal with the conflicting emotions of 1) the problems I see and 2) the fact that my lenses are not theirs. Perhaps in the minds of the people living somewhere, the issues that bother me are not as important as others. Who am I to tell them what to do?
Also, I like running water and electricity. I like not smelling and not having to be called "Yevu" all the time. I like having the concept of "time" to have meaning, etc. So, while there are so many things I don't like about the US, and things I love about the places I have been, I have realized that I am an American and want to work on my own nation first.
(Before leaving I was really stressing about whether I thought I should work domestically or on international development).
OK, I think I should step off my high horse and send this email. Abra and I have other funny stories, but maybe I'll wait until people ask to hear them.
I would love a great dialogue with anyone about all this, especially if you disagree with me
Love and peace, Krissy
Ok, I’ve made it to Ghana!
My first flight was 3.5 hours late taking off, so I almost missed the second, yet I am here. My one little bag, however, is a different story. My fault, I didn't want to carry it around - should have. Oh, well, it will come tonight (we hope)
So far I don’t have many stories to tell. The second flight was interesting. I had a hard time with the business class thing. I kept reminding myself it was free, but it didn't help. Yes, the personal TV, the massager, the fact that it turned into a freaking bed and I got to pick from 8 movies was nice, BUT it wasn't worth it to me to have to watch people walk past me and sit somewhere where they didn't have those things, especially b/c I saw how racially divided it was. My second flight was mostly brown, but the business class was mostly white. After we dropped people off in Lagos, there was "open seating", but it was by class. People didn't know that so the guy had to keep making people leave the nice seats and go to the back. I felt like it was the 1950s on a bus somewhere - but not REMOTELY as horrid. It wasn't quite as easy to tell who was supposed to go to the back. It wasn't based as obviously in a legacy of racism, but that legacy obviously plays a huge part in who has and who does not. Regardless, it still kind of made me ill. I just want everyone to be treated the same, why is that so hard? Why is our world run on a power system controlled by money? Why do people with more money have more valued lives? Makes no sense to me.
I did sit next to an awesome guy from New Zealand though. We talked about the us for a long time. He decided that I should work for the UN. Glad I have strangers making these decisions for me.
hm...
First impressions? It’s more like Tanzania than I expected it to be. It is kind of like Dar es Salaam but not as huge of a city, more a sprawl situation. We are staying in a hotel in Accra till our luggage comes, and then moving on to cape coast (el mina, the slavery castles, and other things that I need to learn about). From there we will be going to Sodoke (where Anna lives). I won’t have internet access after today until we bring Jerod back to the airport in two weeks.
I haven't had any new foods yet, nor have I really experienced that many things different from my other trips. They have trotros here which are like the daladalas in TZ. I got to ride in one. They are essentially really rusted out vans that act as private buses. Always a good time.
I feel like I should have something profound to say, but really, I have just reinvigorated my belief that things need to change. There is no reason that we need such a wealth gap. If people are underprivileged, others by definition must be over privileged. It just hurts my heart to have to walk past the kids on the street. Every face I see, every set of beautiful eyes I look into, every heart choking down its dreams, and they all make me promise more greatly that I will do something meaningful with my life. That I will work to make the world a better place. I won’t give up.
I love you all and I promise that my next email will have lots of facts about Ghana and many many more incites. If you don’t want to hear it - let me know and I’ll keep it to my self. I normally have good reviews, except for the length :)
love always, krissy
08 August 04
Ok, so I have limited time, but SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!!
First to answer the questions. Yes I got my bag and no it isn't hot here at all (I’m serious, DC was much much worse, in fact, I have been cold the last two afternoons/evenings).
Secondly, I have to correct an error. I was wrong about Accra. It is a city. I was just staying in a part called Osu, and it is sort of suburban
Now that we got that out of the way. I’ll start by acknowledging the questions you are probably asking.
Where am I staying? Basically, cheap hotels. We are working on low budget here. Think 4 people to a double bed. Hey, it works. Think no a/c, but definitely a fan! After tonight we will be going to Anna’s village and staying in her house in a village called sokode (near ho in the Volta region).
How are the bathrooms? Well, in Accra they are quite nice, they even have toilet paper! Elsewhere, not so much tp. You don’t usually flush, not the cleanest, but it works. I have no complaints (wow, I’ve changed since middle school, huh mom and dad?).
Today I had an interesting bathroom experience. Most of the time we take public transportation called a tro-tro. It is similar to a daladala in Tanzania. Basically it is a 12 passenger van made to fit between 16 and 24 people (depending on if we are in an area where the limit is enforced). Anyway, today we took a bus (for you Ghanaians the stc). When they had a stop I got out using the "well". Turns out its kind of a trough you squat over. Definitely have never done that before. It was a little unnerving b/c a lot of women had missed and you had to kind of stand in a puddle, but, again, it works! :) I have no complaints. I have forgotten that you have to carry your own toilet paper though. I kind of had to "make do" with other things one time, but, I’ll spare you the details.
So... other random things before I get to the real stuff. Um. A lot of the time when you get to take the tro tro there are people who are preaching at the station while you wait (they don’t leave till they are full). They preach to your bus, and then ask for money. One time we were with another woman named Jackie (an amazing woman from New Zealand). She turned and asked the people behind us if the preacher was crazy. They said "he is preaching". She felt kind of bad.
This isn't coming out well because I feel rushed. urg.
basically, it’s interesting how differently I see things. the first time I studied abroad I was overcome by the women with baskets on their head or with babies strapped to their backs. the markets with people selling everything you could ever want. the fact that there was no hot water in the showers and no toilet paper, and that I slept with ants drove me nuts. I was also distracted by the goats and dogs, etc. however, I have to say that this time around my thoughts are much different. I guess you get those "differences" out of the way and it’s easier to be comfortable and really get to talk to people.
ok, I’m just going to take my time and write the things I want to say. if I don’t finish, I don’t finish.
so, a few days ago we went to cape coast. at cape coast there is a castle (cape coast castle). in fante it is called oguaa. so. the castle was built by people enslaved by the Swedes in 1652. it has changed hands 5 times in the 13 years following its creation. it was the headquarters of the British occupation until 1876... and, its purpose? well, for a large part of its history it was a place where slaves were traded.
we went to the castle and took a guided tour. I can't even tell you what that felt like. we started by visiting the male dungeon. the tour guide showed us the small room people lived in. there were over 700 people in each dungeon. they were forced to eat and go to the bathroom and everything in these rooms. there was no light and no ventilation. if they "acted up" (i.e. stood up for themselves) they were sent to horrid cells which were essentially death sentences (they would suffocate to death from lack of air). the guide said that the waste in the dungeon was over 2 feet high when archeologists excavated them. the average stay of a person in this situation was 6 weeks. it made me sick to think of the lack of humanity the enslavers had and in many ways continue to have today (now who are today's enslavers??). slave ships at the time couldn't reach shore so the men were forced through tunnels onto small boats where they were placed on big ships.
the women were treated just as badly as the men. in addition, they were raped.
in comparison to these things the governor had a huge room, with a great view, a lot of light and ventilation.
the fante people had been tricked into letting the governor build on this land. they were told they were signing a bond of friendship. it was supposed to expire after 100 years, Ghana wasn't "independent" until 1957 and it wasn't until 1960 when they were completely independent politically.
so, that is sort of a summary of what we saw. I can't believe that after studying this for so long I was actually there. now, here are my thoughts.
our (the united states') entire economy is based on the backs of West African slaves. I think about the debt we owe not only to this continent, but to African American people and am completely overwhelmed. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIED TO MAKE OUR COUNTRY WHAT IT IS! it is absolutely absurd to me that we think that west Africa and other "indebted nations" (i.e. former places that were COLONIZED) should pay us over $2 trillion in debt (to which interest of $700 million is added daily). this prevents money from going where it NEEDS to go - to housing, health care, education, EVERYTHING WE TAKE FOR GRANTED.
after touring the castle I sat and looked at the sea. I could just picture slave ships coming into view. thousands of PEOPLE packed together, covered in filth. I went back down to the dungeon and just felt the souls of all these people who were betrayed and treated worse than animals. what can you even feel? what can you say? I’m sorry? how in the world does being sorry cover what we did? (I know a lot of you want to tell me that "we" isn't the right word to use here, but it is we who benefit today from these actions, so, I chose to use it here). there aren't even words to describe how horrendous this entire thing is. is that why we don’t think about it? I mean REALLY think about it. yeah, we learn about slavery in history
classes, but it is just an abstract thing with no relevance to us. ha! our entire lives are built on this institution. everyday our wealth, comfort, etc is taken for granted. not only because we have it and others don’t, but because of WHY we have it. how can we say we KNOW this horrid history without FEELING it, without DOING anything about it? how can we be against reparations if we know this truth? I fail to understand how the wealthiest nation cannot attempt to help? why can't we cancel this erroneous debt? why can't we fund education in inner cities in the US? why can't we admit we have screwed up, that we continue to benefit from it, and do something to make it better?
ok, I’m still hurrying too much and not really being very articulate. I apologize for that. I’m really sleepy too.
now that I’ve completely alienated my audience, I’ll continue. (I feel like I need some comic relief here, so fill this space in with a joke of your own...)
so. after visiting cape coast we went to kakum national park. it was quite beautiful. we did a canopy walk (hiking on bridges atop the trees in a rainforest).
after that we traveled to Elmina - another slave port. this castle is 522 years old. it was built by the Portuguese and was the first "western" icon on the continent. after the Portuguese it was owned by the Dutch and British. it was very similar to cape coast castle in structure and horror. here there was a balcony which the governor would stand on. they would chain women to the cement below and he would choose one to rape.
after our tour here I went down to the women’s dungeon and just felt. it’s amazing to me that not only could these sorts of things happen, but that we continue to enslave people today. it may not be in the same manner, but it is obvious that Africa is still very much enslaved. look at the world bank/imf/ international debt. it’s horrid. why is it so hard to do what is right?
I have more stories about the castles, but this is getting long and I should talk about happy things too. I promise that these things don’t make me miserable. instead, I am able to take it all in and realize that I have a purpose in my life. that I need to do as much as I can to right these wrongs. I know a lot of you have told me that you think I feel "guilty", but I don’t. it isn't my fault that all this happened. it is however my responsibility as a privileged person to do something about it. as Tim wise says "to clean up the funk". otherwise, who will?
on a better note, our tour guide Tette was awesome and I got to talk with him a little bit afterwards. he had a great perspective on acknowledging the past, accepting it, learning from it, and moving on. I think that we forget the learning part a lot.
onto the happy stuff.
after the castles we went to busua beach. it was beautiful! it is in a small village (busua) and rather free of tourists. we stayed in a small hotel and ran into several peace corps peoples. we didn't really spend much time with them, but we did have some awesome experiences talking with other people who lived in the village. I made a great friend named Nathaniel. we spent a great deal of time talking with him throughout the day. that evening Anna, Jerod, and I ate dinner down the beach at a man named jerry's place. the food was amazing. after dinner he offered to "make good vibe" with me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to do it. anyway, jerry and friends ended up having a bonfire for us. Nathaniel came too. I got to spend the evening talking with him about everything from his favorite food to the world bank. I learned so much hearing his perspective on international economic policy. if I had more time I would be more clear about that. basically it was really hard for him to support the world the world bank is doing in Ghana. they are currently privatizing water (which I think is abhorred as water is a human right). we talked a lot about the greed of politicians. he compared bush to mugabe, which I didn't feel was much of a stretch. anyway, I learned a lot. this morning we went jogging on the beach barefoot. he was a little fast for me so I had to work hard to keep up.
oh, and jerry had a monkey named freedom. it fell asleep in my lap.
I have to say that traveling in small groups and not with a class is rather liberating. it’s amazing to have the freedom to spend time with people and get to know people who actually live where you are visiting. it’s like when I visited Jyoti in Dubai and really got to talk to her students.
I definitely have caught a travel bug. I’m trying to figure out ways I can work for not profits/ngos during the summer and make enough money to survive. any ideas? there is so much to learn! so many people to meet! the world is so small, yet so large. we are all so different, yet so much the same. I’m doing a lot of reflecting on life, the future, and what I want to do. anyone out there want to pay me to travel so I can just write about the world? all I need is food and a place to sleep. ;)
I love being out of the US. it’s such a contrast from DC in the villages here. I love that I haven't changed my clothes in 5 days (don’t worry, I have taken some cold showers). I love that we don’t always have electricity or running water. I love that I don’t need to wear makeup and that beauty is judged by the person you are and not how you look. I love that there is no extra "stuff". it’s so funny to me how so many of us think our happiness depends on things. I love that people are real. ah! I just love it!
I feel like this email is coming across as anti-American or anti-us. I don’t mean it to be at all. I love my home. I love the us. I just wish that we were a more reflective people. and I love that I have the ability to go to these places and learn so many new things. its b/c I live in a wonderful place that this is even possible.
I have to tell you that Anna and I are iming right now. this is silly b/c we are in the same computer lab. its also silly b/c we used to do it freshman year, even though we shared a desk.
wow. I have so much more to say, but I have written too much.
Anna is doing great. she is definitely in her element here. people love her and she loves them. she is beautiful.
I will leave you with the text of our favorite sign here in Ghana. the following appeared on the top of a building in cape coast:
"except the lord"
we aren't sure what that means, but it was pretty funny. almost as funny as the night there were some bugs in our bed and I asked Anna what it is like when you have bedbugs. I think I said "would you see one, or are there several". her response: "it depends on how many there are".
anyway, I’ll leave you to read the novel in peace. I’m sorry it is so long. I’m just learning so much!
love and peace, krissy
13 August 04
OK, so, in case you were wondering, I still love Ghana!
We got to Anna's village (Bagble) and it has been amazing. I think the easiest thing is to send you a day by day inventory of what we have been up to.
The first day in Sokode (the community of villages she lives in) we walked around and were introduced to everyone. There are only a few hundred people who live here, but it took us 5 hours. Some of my favorite people were Todia - he owns the local store/hang out. He gave us soda and tried to talk us into moving to Ghana. He is a super funny man. The other person who we met that was super cool was Solomon. He is very into politics. He sat with us for a few hours, gave us a beer, and talked about how bad Bush was for the world. We also talked about Ghanaian politics, and other African nations (Zimbabwe, Kenya, Liberia, Sierra Leone, etc). It was great to have someone to really talk to about all these things.
What I learned about Ghanaian politics I'll share briefly. It is a multiparty system, but, like the US there are two main parties. The NDC is similar to our democrats, and the NPP is like our republicans. There is also the CPP (started by Nkrumah) which is more like our Greens/Socialists. They have elections coming up in December.
Solomon also gave us our first Ghanaian meal - it was Banku and Okro soup (egg plant, other veggies, and fish (which I ate around) in palm oil). It was very good... yum!
The second day we were in Sokode I started with a short jog (or training as they call it here). I had one proposal, but told them my boyfriend at home would be mad. In the morning Anna, Jerod, and I worked on her farm with See-Saw and Comfort (two employees). They are amazing and we had a lot of fun. We also got treated to Palm Wine by some guys in the woods. The guys are hilarious, and the wine is amazing.
For lunch we had bobo - which is beans, gari, and plantains. Gari is cassava.
That afternoon we went to the neighboring village and met the chief. It was really fun, but slightly awkward. We were serenaded by American music television. This was followed by a math show. We just sort of sat in silence after initial conversation. Anna said that often the amount of time you spend with people is valued over the quality of the time. Who knows?
That evening we ate with her friends (who are amazing) and had Akple and okro soup. Her friends are Kweku, Kosi Fred, and Kosi Paul. I can't tell you how much fun we have. They have taught us several Ghanaian games (one is like mancala - I ended up being pretty good at that) and done other random activities with us. Basically, we just hang out a lot.
One thing that really bugs me is that people in the village here don't necessarily get paid. I learned that this morning. Benice is the employer at Anna's farm. See-saw and Comfort came down to work for her and have not been paid at all. Apparently that's just how it is. One day they will be paid (in theory). I got rather upset about this. They work so hard and are amazing people.
When I met Benice I got even more upset about it. She just sort of came in and ordered everyone around. She was telling Comfort and SeeSaw what to do in their own home (this was yesterday and they were making us lunch). Urg! The arrogance just hurt my soul. It wouldn't be PC for Americans to do, but the classism at home exists as well.
I'm not really being that clear on my thoughts again b/c I'm hurrying. Kosi Fred and Kweku are with us, but not really doing the internet thing.
Oh, I forgot! I have a new name. Initially I was named Ama by a man on a tro-tro, but when I got to Sokode they changed it to Akosua (hm, sound familiar Akos??) It means Sunday born (by the way, what day was I really born mom and dad?).
The third day we again went to the farm in the morning. We had some great talks with See-Saw and went and got our photo taken with the palm wine people (they were upset with us for not having our camera the day before, apparently photos are expensive here and they wanted one). See-Saw had a lot of good questions about things he has heard about the US and immigration. Why is it so hard for people who have melanin in their skin to immigrate, but not so hard for white people??? Messed up!
That day we also washed our clothes in a bucket. I'm getting good. My practice in TZ paid off.
After lunch we went to Kweku's and hung out. Kosi Fred decided that I was his new best friend. We played a lot of Mankala. They also made FuFu for us for dinner. I got to try and pound it, but we ended up just laughing at my lack of ability. So, that evening we had FuFu and light sauce. That was my favorite meal here.
I have to say, this trip is so much different than my others to Africa. Living in a town with people is so different than being a tourist. I am learning so much more about myself and about people in general. Things I can't yet articulate. Perhaps, when I return home, my email will be deeper and not so time-line-ish. You are probably bored...
The next day we again worked the farm in the AM and planted sticks. Apparently they will grow into a fence. That day we had lunch with See-Saw and Comfort (see above) and Benice was there ordering them around. The reason for her presence is b/c Mr. Bansah (Anna's landlord) threw us a Bobobo (those o's should be backward c's, but there isn't a key for that on the computer).
What, you may ask, is a bobobo?? Well, I didn't know either! It was supposed to start at 2 and at 3:45 we heard the drumming coming. A huge mass of people came with drums and were dancing. Initially we had to sit and watch and drink coconut milk (I love coconuts by the way). I have to say I was really uncomfortable having people "perform" for me. However, it was short lived and I got to join the dancing. The women were really patient with me in trying to learn the steps. After the first hour I started to get the hang of things and was more comfortable. It was so much fun. We danced for about two hours until the Ghanaian football match (Olympics) started and those with TV’s or access to a TV wanted to go watch. I also got anointed by Benice and others with beads. The only odd part was the drunk guy who wanted to pay special attention to Anna and me. The other women took care of that. The best part was afterwards when I was asked if I played music. They thought my
dancing was good (I have tried - that means good job). They may have just been being nice, but, I'll appreciate it.
Today we went with Kosi and Kweku to a place called Tobor falls. It was absolutely beautiful. We had a 45 walk in and out and stayed at the falls for about 45 minutes as well. The guys are so much fun. Kosi and I had a good talk about gender equality on the way home.
OK, so there are two things I wanted to write about but had forgotten in my last email.
One is this problem of money. People here need it. Tourism is a great way for them to get it. However, it seems to me a form of neo-colonialism. Like these "white saviours" coming and helping the poor black folk and spending their money. I don't know. I just wish that things were different. I wish we could drop the debt and work to really repair the damage we have done. I fear that instead we will continue on this destructive path until we succeed in destroying ourselves.
I like Anna's village b/c I don't feel that sense of tourism and white hierarchy as potently as I did in the tourist areas. Plus, I've made new amazing friends.
OK, this one was rather weak on deep thoughts, but, maybe when I get home and have more time to process everything I'll be better with that.
This weekend Kosi Fred, Kweku, and Kosi Paul are throwing us another bobobo. It will be a blast. Jerod leaves, and after that Anna and I will continue to play in Sokode. I think she is going to take me to a place called Odamasi which is a bead market. They have beads there that were used to buy people. My stomach hurts just thinking about it all.
I love you all and miss you. I am safe and happy (albeit a little dirty and smelly. Om, if you pick me up from the airport, I apologize now).
Peace, krissy
Thursday, August 19, 2004 11:25 AM
The internet is really, really slow today, so I may get frustrated, but we'll see.
So. After I last wrote to you we spent another night in Accra. There I went to the DuBois center. It is the house where DuBois lived for the two years before his death. He was being haunted/hunted by the CIA and Nkrumah invited him to live here. So, he did. The house was interesting, I didn't learn a lot, but it was awesome to see. All you who took Paideia should know who DuBois was. He was an amazing Pan-Africanist, and much more. One story about him is that he got his Doctoral degree from Harvard. However, he was turned down for admission many times. 1) because he was black and 2) they didn't think a Fisk degree was prestigious enough. He finally got admitted but they still made him take undergrad classes and get a second BA.
There is a lot more that he has done, and it is your homework assignment to find out (just practicing in case I am ever a teacher).
In addition to visiting his house/grave site, we tried to go to Osu castle.
Unfortunately, they have turned it into a state house and you can't visit it or take photos. We did wander around the outside until someone told us to go. He was named Benjamin and wanted to "take us as his friend".
Hm. I'm a little nervous about spending time writing this, because I fear I won't be able to send it, but we'll see.
One our way back to Ho we took a tro-tro. We got on and after it filled there was a man who tried to sell a magic water bottle. It was a thermos and if you drank water out of it, it heals any disease you may have. "malaria, asthma, stroke, heart attack, and whatever, and whatever", "stroke, head ache, and so on, and so on". It even "heals diseases for old people in advance". No body bought one, but someone did offer a lower price.
He also was selling tea that helps with both malaria and menstruation.
Oh, one funny quote from the trip was when we were laying in bed one evening. Anna called Jackie British (she is from New Zealand). Jackie responded by saying "I wish you were Canadian so I could call you an American".
On a similar note, so many of the people I meet ask me about Bush and what the chances are that Kerry will win. Bush is definitely not popular here; they all think that he does bad things for the American people and the world in general. At least the rest of the world is pulling for Kerry.
Before I forget, thank you to all you who sent birthday greetings. If you didn't, don't feel bad, I forgot too for most of the day. Besides, I probably don't know when yours is.
Once we got back to Sokode (on the 17th). We went to Kweku's and said goodbye to Kosi. Kosi went to Kumasi (a city in central Ghana) for work for a few months. It was sad to say goodbye, but I did get to give him an R.
Kelly CD (he really loves music and didn't know R&B) and my Nalgene bottle.
The guys are really impressed with Nalgenes and the fact that they don't break. Kweku said they spent a long time trying to break it.
Ah, Abra (Anna's Ghanaian name) has amazing friends. I can't tell you how much I enjoy hanging out with them.
The 18th we started the day at the farm and then went to Kweku's for lunch/dinner. En route I got to meet the town drunk. She is also the town midwife. Another reason that Anna says she will not have a child here.
I have learned that I am not good at pingpong and am a failure at Checkers - Ghana style. The rules are different, but I am not sure I really understand them.
I'm still struggling with what I wrote in the last email. I want to rescind the idea that everyone can accomplish anything in the US. I think that was too privileged to write. I don't face racism, poverty, and everything daily. I walk the streets here and think about how uncomfortable it is to be chased and called "yevu", but, like I have said before, I am treated as if I am a celebrity or someone important. I may not want to be and I may do everything I can, not to be, but that's how it is. People of color in the US are treated negatively and have to stand out. I have gone jogging here and, as I traveled the road, little kids have chased me and screamed "Yevu".
Never have I felt scared. Someone I know in Decorah once got run off the road on a bike because of the color of his/her skin. One of my friends had eggs thrown at him and told to "go back to Africa". So many non-blatant forms of racism overwhelm daily lives. The average worth of a white family with the same income of a black family is 8 times higher! This is based on the history that is defining today. Because people of color have been denied access to "owning" they were not able to acquire equity. White privilege is inherited financially. There are so many other ways that I really should write about, but I definitely would take the entire day.
Basically, I am saying, that not everyone has the opportunity to do whatever they want in the US, I wasn't really thinking about everything in that last email (but I still feel the entrapment of Anna's friends. I am still wondering how much of my personal biases shape this thought). So there. I have a lot more to say about this, but not a lot of time. I have a lot to learn. I will keep doing so, and then try and fix it. Wanna help?
This morning Abra and I spent 2.5 hours waiting for a meeting that was supposed to start at 10 (she says that happens a lot), so while we were waiting we drew up a conversation outlining her typical experience as she walks through town. Here it goes:
Townsperson: "Yevu sister Abra!"
Abra: "Good morning."
T: "Fine, morning, how are the people in the house?"
A: "They are fine."
T: "Are you fine?"
A: "Yes."
T: "Did you wake up strong?:
A: "Yes"
T: "Are you alive?"
A: "Yes (to this, I think she should start saying no, and see the reaction)"
T: "Where are you going?"
A: "I am going to (Ho (city near by), Senegal, American (to make people laugh))
T: "What will you do??"
A: "I am going to work."
T: "Will you return early?"
A: "Probably evening time. (sometimes to be funny "three days", etc)
T: "What will you bring me??"
A: (normal) "Bread/ biscuit, (funny) three cows/goats/horses"
Or
T: "Bring me bread."
A: "Ok" (She doesn't actually bring it, it is just a customary things to say when someone travels)
T: "Come in time."
A: "Ok."
Three minutes later
T2: "Are you awake?"
A: "Yes."
T2: "Are you well?"
A: "Yes."
T2: "Is the husband well?"
A: "I don't have a husband." (which everyone knows already)
T2 (if male): "I will take you as my wife."
A: "Wait, and ask my father."
-or, if T2 is female -
"You should marry my son." - or - "You are grown, why?"
T2: "Where are you going." (see last section) 30 seconds later, encountering someone from out of town.
A: "Good morning."
T2: "Hey! She speaks Ewe! Oh, you try! (means good job) I will take you as my friend."
A: "Ok."
T2: "Where are you going?"
(see above).
On a side note, I won't be able to respond to individual messages today, the computer is too slow.
So, on a not so happy note, the meeting this morning was to have a photo with orphans that the NGO Anna works for is assisting. There was a little girl with them who flinched a lot, and was really afraid of everything. We are wondering if she gets picked on and/or hit. She was being drug along by an older girl who was Developmentally Disabled. I think it is great that the organization is giving responsibility to someone with a DD, but she was a very angry child and kept hitting the little girl. At one point the little girl was crying. The older girl hit her, and no one did anything to 1) reprimand her, or 2) to comfort the little girl crying. I guess I don't know what to say about it. I'm at a loss for explanation and confused as to how much my American lenses block me.
The photo situation was also rather taxing. I was invited to be in the photo but didn't want to. Too often the experience of Peace Corps volunteers is simply bringing prestige to a place because they are white.
That's the way it is, so, is it good if the volunteer does it and helps the NGO? Should they refuse because it is simply cementing the idea of white being better?
As I said, I am learning a lot about myself here. I have learned that I really am an American. I like the US. I love traveling and staying in places for months, but I don't think that I could live in a "developing" country for real. Maybe if I was with the right people who were able to keep me grounded, or if I made the friends who would. (Unless, someone wants to pay me to be a travel writer, I wouldn't mind that. I may have some serious improvement to do in regards to the actually writing, but, yeah). I think that my frustration with things I didn't support in the culture would make me crazy. I am not sure how appropriate I think it is to change things somewhere else. (But, if I was a travel writer, I could give a new perspective to those who read what I write). I think that empowering people who want to make change is great, but you cannot force a culture to change. Who am I to use my western lenses to say that something is wrong?
Who am I to tell women they shouldn't wear a veil when they want to? (look what happened when the Shah did in Iran - ok, that is too simplistic, but, you get the idea). Who am I to tell women they shouldn't have a circumcision when it would condemn them to a life of being single and therefore have great difficulty surviving? Basically, I don't think I have the right to judge the way other people live. I think that we all are within a certain group, and it is our RESPONSIBILITY to help that group live morally. I am a white American. White Americans have a lot of work to do within their own group. Anyway, what I am saying is that if I lived
elsewhere I wouldn't be able to deal with the conflicting emotions of 1) the problems I see and 2) the fact that my lenses are not theirs. Perhaps in the minds of the people living somewhere, the issues that bother me are not as important as others. Who am I to tell them what to do?
Also, I like running water and electricity. I like not smelling and not having to be called "Yevu" all the time. I like having the concept of "time" to have meaning, etc. So, while there are so many things I don't like about the US, and things I love about the places I have been, I have realized that I am an American and want to work on my own nation first.
(Before leaving I was really stressing about whether I thought I should work domestically or on international development).
OK, I think I should step off my high horse and send this email. Abra and I have other funny stories, but maybe I'll wait until people ask to hear them.
I would love a great dialogue with anyone about all this, especially if you disagree with me
Love and peace, Krissy
24 April 2004
Notes from the Federal Marriage Ammendment Hearings
Part one:
Today was Tuesday, and that means that I get to get up at 5:15 and take the ever-exciting bus ride into dc to hang out in senator !@#%^$^#$&’s office… and, every week it is very worth the effort (although the night before I wonder sometimes).
Anyway, why am I sending a semimass email about that? Because today I got to go to the senate hearing on the fma (federal marriage amendment) and thought you may all be interested in what I learned/saw/etc
First, I have to tell you how awesome it was as compared to other hearings… for example, I went to an Amtrak hearing… and no one really showed up… and it was rather dry. At this hearing not only were senators/representatives and “experts” testifying, but ted kennedy, russ feingold, senator durbin, and others came to ask questions/give statements/etc…
So, here is how the morning began:
I got off my bus and walked to 0.5 miles up capital hill… noticing the looooonnnngggg line outside the russel building I called fiengolds office and asked if I could go to the fma hearing and not stop in the office… no problem… so, I entered the building. The line of people who wanted to go to the hearing was all the way down and around the Russell building. Luckily, I have a staffer pass and got to sneak in (regardless, I stood in the back in case there were some people who weren’t good standers who wanted to come).
Anyway, the room was packed, and that was awesome…
So, the chairperson of the senate hearing committee (his name escapes me, but he is a senator from texas) began by giving his position on the topic. These are his key points:
There are three myths about gay marriage in his eyes 1) “my marriage does not affect your marriage”… rather, he argued… gay marriage would reduce the institution of marriage to a financial agreement and that would be bad for family life. 2) “we don’t need to amend the constitution to defend traditional marriage” – in his view this was necessary in order to prevent change from “activist judges”. He also felt that states couldn’t handle this issue on their own because they would be unable to stand up to federal laws. 3) the amendment is “Writing discrimination into the constitution” – on the contrary he argued that because the naacp and the American bar association hadn’t taken a stance, then it must not be discriminatory (just wait till we get to the part when the lady from the aba spoke)
So, after he was done (yes, I have a lot of thoughts about all that, but I’m just going to tell you what everyone said)… senator feinstien (CA) spoke. Her main points were as follows: 1) this amendment was limiting rights, rather than extending or preserving them as all other amendments (aside from prohibition which was repealed) had. 2) in the past, states have always done well controlling their own laws on marriage. She sited massachusettes actions now – bringing it to a referendum by the PEOPLE to see what should be done. He also sited California proposition 22 which had amended the constitution to limit marriage there to men and women… and she talked about interracial marriage and how it was illegal in some states and not others 3) she discussed the fact that no state was going to be forced to recognize or follow the actions of another state – like polygamy, incest, interracial relationships in the past and present
Wow… I’m realizing that this email is going to get long… but the hearing was 3 hours long… so, yeah, you can stop reading at any time…
Senator feinstein also argued that, according to a recent poll, only 20% of the people supported the FMA… and, perhaps her most interesting argument, she was very concerned about the fact that the commission bringing forth the amendment had changed the language the day before. Previously it had explicitly outlawed civil unions and domestic partnerships as well… now the language read that “marriage or legal incidents there of” cannot be legalized by states. So, her question then was, how was a civil union different that the “legal incidents” or marriage if they were not going to provide equal rights for people in unions and not marriage. She also discussed how complex this change demonstrated the topic to be – changing it 24 hours before the hearing…
So, then they had the panelists speak. The panel was made of 4 people – two supporting the amendment, and two against it. First senator allen – the one who introduced fma – spoke. His key points are as follows: 1) he changed the words so that he could define marriage, maintain a role for states, and limit the actions of activist judges (these are the same issues everyone else was saying the new language limited… so that was a point of tension – but, seriously, how is federally mandating something preserving states rights, and how are “legal incidents” provided by marriage not limiting the rights that could be given in unions or partnerships)… 2) marriage is the foundation of all civilizations, and it is cross cultural for hetero relationships. He sees it as the basic unit of society and the expression of people…
Next representative franks (mass) spoke. He is one of a few “out” representatives (another being tammy Baldwin – yea! Wisconsin!). he was amazing and made me cry. First, he recapped what he had heard summing up the arguments of others as “a need to prevent “activist” judges (the term which he mentioned was ironic, and definitely subjective and of our times – did people call judges allowing interracial relationships activists??)… and the second argument he was hearing was the need to preserve states rights. In franks eyes the amendment does the following 1) it takes away states rights – using the example of massachusettes. If the referendum in may passes, the fma will take away the states rights to make its own law in this situation 2) denies states in general to decide marriage laws 3) traditional marriage will not be effected. In his words (this made everyone laugh) “same sex marriage will be entirely optional”. And he argued that it was the ultimate form of flattery. He saw the desire for marriage as gay people recognizing that straight couples had something good, and that they wanted to share part of it. How would that detract from marriage? Another great line of his was that the amendment was punishing “millions of people who are threatening to commit love”. 4) he defeated the argument of it being better for kids to be in straight families (which most psychologists don’t support anyway) by pointing out that gay people have kids now, and will continue to do so…. The part that made me cry was when he almost started crying, and openly and honestly asked the panel why they were so afraid of him and his love… oh my god, he was so eloquent, if you can get a tape of this conference, you HAVE to listen to him speak…
Ok, I’m going to get a little speedier now, mostly because a lot of repetition started and b/c this is so long I don’t think you’re reading it anymore (except maybe Lindsay)
The next speaker was representative lewis – he opposed the amendment and the righting of discrimination into the constitution. He is an African American rep, from rural Alabama, and a Baptist minister… he said that his experience fighting for racial civil rights made it impossible for him to not fight for these rights. He asked the question - - if in 1954 the congress had made an amendment saying that segregation was legal, where would brown vs boe have put us? If in 1967 (the year before the love decision legalizing interracial marriage in Virginia) the congress had made an amendment making interracial relationships illegal, where would we be??? He says no to 2nd class status, and that this amendment prevented the mission of equal rights under the law – that separate is not equal. He also argued that our rights should not be determined based on the approval of others, or the feeling of the times – rather, they should be based on the status we have as Americans to have liberties and freedoms… all people are the same – with hopes, dreams, and troubles, therefore we should all be treated the same…
Finally, there was cosponsor to the bill, representative musgrave… she said that *some counselors say straight couples are better for kids and that *some legal experts say gay marriage is a threat to the traditional institution of marriage. She talked a lot about DOMA in 1996. he also was using reverend Richardson and the AME church to say that it wasn’t discrimination to amend the constitution (krissy side note, what happened to separation of church and state?? Isn’t’ this ENTIRE argument a religious debate and not something the state should mandate anyway?)
Then they opened for questions… I’ll just give you key parts (new arguments)
Kennedy (I love watching him debate) argued that the fed gov’t shouldn’t dictate state marriage laws – ended up talking with allen and concluding that VT would have to overturn their civil union laws b/c they have the same “legal incidents” as marriage and that would be unconstitutional --- he also made people conclude that the goodridge decision would have to be overturned (it made it illegal for the states to discriminate against glbt peoples)
Feingold was upset that we were spending so much time on this… he felt that if we were really worried about kids and families we should be debating how to improve education, etc rather than this. He also was upset that they were rushing this amendment, and declared that it was a political move in an election year. In the past amendments take years to come to vote… and NEVER are in hearing within 24 hours of getting new language. He also said that there is no need for an amendment, and that no state has been forced to accept the rules of a different state – it isnt’ a federal issue.
Senator durbin agued that the amendment was against the oath of office all members take (to defend the constitution) – especially because of the intense rush to amend. He also questioned why polygamy was edited out of the new language – why it was still going to be legal for states to determine that – however, by this time allen and musgrave had left, so they couldn’t answer questions.
After that they had a legal expert panel – we didn’t learn much except that the am. Bar association was opposed to the amendment and felt as though it limits states authority and hurts the rights of kids of same sex couples to be protected under the law.
The rest of the arguments were just repeats – basically the people supporting the amendment are arguing 1) stop activist judges 2) protect traditional marriage 3) protect kids
Everyone else was like – um, what?!?! The amendment 1) discriminates and makes it legal 2) opposes the purpose of the constitution to grant us rights 3) limits states rights and all that on top of the fact that 4) traditional marriage wont change, we will just have other options for people who don’t fit that mold 5) kids are best off when protected by the law and with people who love them – why prevent that?
There was obviously a lot more, but that was the gist of it… hopefully you aren’t too bored, and if you didn’t make it this far… then you don’t get to find out that I almost ran over senator lieberman on my way out tonight…
Part Two:
ok, i do have to put a small krissy spin on all this...
what the hell are people talking about with liberal media?!?! i was THERE and i can tell you as a PRIMARY source (hello, we learned about his in like 8th grade) that the supporters of FMA fell FLAT on their faces in the debate (and i'm not even saying that b/c i'm bias - but b/c i wasn't mad at them, i felt sorry for them, normally when people are mean i get mad/angry... but i couldnt even do that b/c they couldn't stand up for their own amendment) yet you watch the LIBERAL media and the ACTIVST judges and it looks like the amendments is super popular and doesn't have any roughspots... bullcrap - i wish the entire nation could have been in that room with me...
AHHH!!!
Today was Tuesday, and that means that I get to get up at 5:15 and take the ever-exciting bus ride into dc to hang out in senator !@#%^$^#$&’s office… and, every week it is very worth the effort (although the night before I wonder sometimes).
Anyway, why am I sending a semimass email about that? Because today I got to go to the senate hearing on the fma (federal marriage amendment) and thought you may all be interested in what I learned/saw/etc
First, I have to tell you how awesome it was as compared to other hearings… for example, I went to an Amtrak hearing… and no one really showed up… and it was rather dry. At this hearing not only were senators/representatives and “experts” testifying, but ted kennedy, russ feingold, senator durbin, and others came to ask questions/give statements/etc…
So, here is how the morning began:
I got off my bus and walked to 0.5 miles up capital hill… noticing the looooonnnngggg line outside the russel building I called fiengolds office and asked if I could go to the fma hearing and not stop in the office… no problem… so, I entered the building. The line of people who wanted to go to the hearing was all the way down and around the Russell building. Luckily, I have a staffer pass and got to sneak in (regardless, I stood in the back in case there were some people who weren’t good standers who wanted to come).
Anyway, the room was packed, and that was awesome…
So, the chairperson of the senate hearing committee (his name escapes me, but he is a senator from texas) began by giving his position on the topic. These are his key points:
There are three myths about gay marriage in his eyes 1) “my marriage does not affect your marriage”… rather, he argued… gay marriage would reduce the institution of marriage to a financial agreement and that would be bad for family life. 2) “we don’t need to amend the constitution to defend traditional marriage” – in his view this was necessary in order to prevent change from “activist judges”. He also felt that states couldn’t handle this issue on their own because they would be unable to stand up to federal laws. 3) the amendment is “Writing discrimination into the constitution” – on the contrary he argued that because the naacp and the American bar association hadn’t taken a stance, then it must not be discriminatory (just wait till we get to the part when the lady from the aba spoke)
So, after he was done (yes, I have a lot of thoughts about all that, but I’m just going to tell you what everyone said)… senator feinstien (CA) spoke. Her main points were as follows: 1) this amendment was limiting rights, rather than extending or preserving them as all other amendments (aside from prohibition which was repealed) had. 2) in the past, states have always done well controlling their own laws on marriage. She sited massachusettes actions now – bringing it to a referendum by the PEOPLE to see what should be done. He also sited California proposition 22 which had amended the constitution to limit marriage there to men and women… and she talked about interracial marriage and how it was illegal in some states and not others 3) she discussed the fact that no state was going to be forced to recognize or follow the actions of another state – like polygamy, incest, interracial relationships in the past and present
Wow… I’m realizing that this email is going to get long… but the hearing was 3 hours long… so, yeah, you can stop reading at any time…
Senator feinstein also argued that, according to a recent poll, only 20% of the people supported the FMA… and, perhaps her most interesting argument, she was very concerned about the fact that the commission bringing forth the amendment had changed the language the day before. Previously it had explicitly outlawed civil unions and domestic partnerships as well… now the language read that “marriage or legal incidents there of” cannot be legalized by states. So, her question then was, how was a civil union different that the “legal incidents” or marriage if they were not going to provide equal rights for people in unions and not marriage. She also discussed how complex this change demonstrated the topic to be – changing it 24 hours before the hearing…
So, then they had the panelists speak. The panel was made of 4 people – two supporting the amendment, and two against it. First senator allen – the one who introduced fma – spoke. His key points are as follows: 1) he changed the words so that he could define marriage, maintain a role for states, and limit the actions of activist judges (these are the same issues everyone else was saying the new language limited… so that was a point of tension – but, seriously, how is federally mandating something preserving states rights, and how are “legal incidents” provided by marriage not limiting the rights that could be given in unions or partnerships)… 2) marriage is the foundation of all civilizations, and it is cross cultural for hetero relationships. He sees it as the basic unit of society and the expression of people…
Next representative franks (mass) spoke. He is one of a few “out” representatives (another being tammy Baldwin – yea! Wisconsin!). he was amazing and made me cry. First, he recapped what he had heard summing up the arguments of others as “a need to prevent “activist” judges (the term which he mentioned was ironic, and definitely subjective and of our times – did people call judges allowing interracial relationships activists??)… and the second argument he was hearing was the need to preserve states rights. In franks eyes the amendment does the following 1) it takes away states rights – using the example of massachusettes. If the referendum in may passes, the fma will take away the states rights to make its own law in this situation 2) denies states in general to decide marriage laws 3) traditional marriage will not be effected. In his words (this made everyone laugh) “same sex marriage will be entirely optional”. And he argued that it was the ultimate form of flattery. He saw the desire for marriage as gay people recognizing that straight couples had something good, and that they wanted to share part of it. How would that detract from marriage? Another great line of his was that the amendment was punishing “millions of people who are threatening to commit love”. 4) he defeated the argument of it being better for kids to be in straight families (which most psychologists don’t support anyway) by pointing out that gay people have kids now, and will continue to do so…. The part that made me cry was when he almost started crying, and openly and honestly asked the panel why they were so afraid of him and his love… oh my god, he was so eloquent, if you can get a tape of this conference, you HAVE to listen to him speak…
Ok, I’m going to get a little speedier now, mostly because a lot of repetition started and b/c this is so long I don’t think you’re reading it anymore (except maybe Lindsay)
The next speaker was representative lewis – he opposed the amendment and the righting of discrimination into the constitution. He is an African American rep, from rural Alabama, and a Baptist minister… he said that his experience fighting for racial civil rights made it impossible for him to not fight for these rights. He asked the question - - if in 1954 the congress had made an amendment saying that segregation was legal, where would brown vs boe have put us? If in 1967 (the year before the love decision legalizing interracial marriage in Virginia) the congress had made an amendment making interracial relationships illegal, where would we be??? He says no to 2nd class status, and that this amendment prevented the mission of equal rights under the law – that separate is not equal. He also argued that our rights should not be determined based on the approval of others, or the feeling of the times – rather, they should be based on the status we have as Americans to have liberties and freedoms… all people are the same – with hopes, dreams, and troubles, therefore we should all be treated the same…
Finally, there was cosponsor to the bill, representative musgrave… she said that *some counselors say straight couples are better for kids and that *some legal experts say gay marriage is a threat to the traditional institution of marriage. She talked a lot about DOMA in 1996. he also was using reverend Richardson and the AME church to say that it wasn’t discrimination to amend the constitution (krissy side note, what happened to separation of church and state?? Isn’t’ this ENTIRE argument a religious debate and not something the state should mandate anyway?)
Then they opened for questions… I’ll just give you key parts (new arguments)
Kennedy (I love watching him debate) argued that the fed gov’t shouldn’t dictate state marriage laws – ended up talking with allen and concluding that VT would have to overturn their civil union laws b/c they have the same “legal incidents” as marriage and that would be unconstitutional --- he also made people conclude that the goodridge decision would have to be overturned (it made it illegal for the states to discriminate against glbt peoples)
Feingold was upset that we were spending so much time on this… he felt that if we were really worried about kids and families we should be debating how to improve education, etc rather than this. He also was upset that they were rushing this amendment, and declared that it was a political move in an election year. In the past amendments take years to come to vote… and NEVER are in hearing within 24 hours of getting new language. He also said that there is no need for an amendment, and that no state has been forced to accept the rules of a different state – it isnt’ a federal issue.
Senator durbin agued that the amendment was against the oath of office all members take (to defend the constitution) – especially because of the intense rush to amend. He also questioned why polygamy was edited out of the new language – why it was still going to be legal for states to determine that – however, by this time allen and musgrave had left, so they couldn’t answer questions.
After that they had a legal expert panel – we didn’t learn much except that the am. Bar association was opposed to the amendment and felt as though it limits states authority and hurts the rights of kids of same sex couples to be protected under the law.
The rest of the arguments were just repeats – basically the people supporting the amendment are arguing 1) stop activist judges 2) protect traditional marriage 3) protect kids
Everyone else was like – um, what?!?! The amendment 1) discriminates and makes it legal 2) opposes the purpose of the constitution to grant us rights 3) limits states rights and all that on top of the fact that 4) traditional marriage wont change, we will just have other options for people who don’t fit that mold 5) kids are best off when protected by the law and with people who love them – why prevent that?
There was obviously a lot more, but that was the gist of it… hopefully you aren’t too bored, and if you didn’t make it this far… then you don’t get to find out that I almost ran over senator lieberman on my way out tonight…
Part Two:
ok, i do have to put a small krissy spin on all this...
what the hell are people talking about with liberal media?!?! i was THERE and i can tell you as a PRIMARY source (hello, we learned about his in like 8th grade) that the supporters of FMA fell FLAT on their faces in the debate (and i'm not even saying that b/c i'm bias - but b/c i wasn't mad at them, i felt sorry for them, normally when people are mean i get mad/angry... but i couldnt even do that b/c they couldn't stand up for their own amendment) yet you watch the LIBERAL media and the ACTIVST judges and it looks like the amendments is super popular and doesn't have any roughspots... bullcrap - i wish the entire nation could have been in that room with me...
AHHH!!!
20 February 2004
Notes from my trip to Dubai: Feb. 2004
Mon, 16 Feb 2004 12:24:51 +0000
yes, for those of you who haven't heard... i am in dubai... why you may ask? because i'm visiting my former prof jyoti who teaches here, and i have the best parents in the world...
so there is so much that i want to write about, so i'll just write about a few interesting things
first things first, coming to the airport... so as i stood in line to get my passport stamped i noticed something about the people here... hmm... all the men wear dishdash's (the white robes) and women are wearing long black "veils"... i thought about how they could NEVER work in an airport in the us... just becaues of their religion. how messed up is that? it definitely caught me off guard though. i guess i didn't realize how elegant the women looked. seriously... why do we feel the need to be naked all the time??? definitely solves the problem of body image issues, etc...
so one would then ask, isn't it repressive? i dont know. i'm struggling with that. i dont think that having men and women wear traditional outfits is. (yes, men wear them to) however, i have to say that the burkha (metal mouth coverings) that the older generation of women wear is over the top. seriously, its completely getting rid of the ability to talk... but i dont know. its hard to judge someone else's culture. i'm sure i'll have more thoughts as i talk with women at jyoti's school...
ok... so an interesting thing happened last night. we went to a global viliage festival. (in jyoti's words "a state fair gone mixed with embassy row". i got to speak kiswahili in the kenya tent. and i went to pakistan... and india... and... i went to afghanistan. well if that wasn't something. wow, did i feel bad there. there were all of these places that were actually from pakistan and they were refugee women tents. i bought some gifts from the refugee women. i coudln't say anything. i felt so ashamed. we are seriously bombing their country... and this is how they make ends meet. they spend their days sewing in refugee camps. literally. there was all sorts of information about the organizations working to help the women... and the worst part, was that there were literally people arguing with the posted prices. trying to barter because it was the last day. the money was going to refugees!!! wow...
yeah, but that wans't the interesting thing. the interesting thing was when we were in line for hte bus on the way back. this woman budded in front of us at the front of the line. when jyoti and her friend shelia kindly told the woman that she should go to the end, she refused (mind you this had happend several times, and everyone else went back). this woman called her friend on the next bus and said in arabic (which jyoti can understand) something along the lines of "can you believe it these women told ME to go to the end of hte line. Ii'm arab i can do whatever i want". i honestly can't understand how ANYONE would think that they were better than anyone else. we had literally been in line for over an hour... and there were people behind us that didn't make the bus. dont get me wrong, most of the people here are amazing and nice. and i really doubt many arab people feel that way... so no stereotyping!!
most of the people here (67%) are indian. there are a lot of british people and germans too.
ok those are today's thoughts
love you, krissy
-------------------------
ok so i had do draw this parallel to the arab woman
so many white people do the same thing all the time. still today in the us, and when they travel. while many aren't verbally saying that they think they are better... many are thinking it. not all, but many...
i just imagine white folks coming here and seriously looking at the arab people in demeaning ways, especially because of their clothing. we will think its "weird" or "oppressive" and while we may not know it, we think we are better... same thing with when white folks are scared of the "black neighborhoods". while in some areas the crime is higher, there are reasons for it. the fact that the legacy of slavery continues, and that redlining and block breaking have led to a lack of equity gaining causing black families to continue to inherit less than whites... causing hte poverty gap to grow... ok, you all get the point and i dont need to ramble.
basically i'm saying. dont judge because we do it too... and the worst part is it is so natrual that we dont even know we do it
i'm done
love and peace, krissy
---------------------------------
Mon, 16 Feb 2004 20:51:51 +0000
ok, so its bed time, but i just wanted to tell you all that there are NO homeless people here... literally ZERO!! (and people say it can't be done). its nice not seeing people surviving on the streets in blizzards.
the government subsidizes (sp? - its late) "nationals" and expats (working people from other countries) are given housing. thus, no one is without a home. similarly, everyone is allowed free schooling. the government even pays for anyone who wants to to go to college anywhere in the world (men and women).
one other thing. the community is really strict on maintaining the purity of women, so if a man was ever to hurt a woman, national or not, they are jailed and their picture is put in the paper. its one of the greatest shames. its nice to be able to walk down the street and not feel tense when a group of men pass you.
ok, bed time, i'll write more tomorrow.
meghan, happy birthday (my time). jyoti and i picked out a beautiful gift for you.
love and peace, krissy
Tue, 17 Feb 2004 18:55:23 +0000
ok, so i've gotten a lot of great questions, and tonight before i go to bed i'm going to try to answer them (and before the battery dies on the computer)
ok first: TV - yes they get american programs here. they just have subtitles...
also, they have starbucks, mcdonalds, bk, kfc, ace hardware, safeway, pizza hut, gloria jeans, ikea, and a lot of american malls
secondly: population - 1.04 million in dubai, but increasing rapidly.
ok, where do they get the money? trade (dubai is duty free, so lots of nations like to use it as a major trade port)... in the past they thrived off pearling and gold (long time ago). however, recently its because of oil. seriously, americans have no idea what it is worth.(aparently thousands of lives in afghanistan, and iraq, but who is counting -- wow, i know not all of you agree with me on that one) dubai doesn't even have oil, but they sell it/trade it. nations like iraq, saudi arabia - they have the oil. however, typically they aren't the ones making the money off it. it is the us and britian who have companies in these places doing the production. and of course, the leaders of the nations tend to be wealthy. today i saw one of many of the palaces of the leader of the uae (sheik maktoum) and the sheik zayed of dubai. rumor has it that theirs are much more substantial than husseins... and i believe it.
tomorrow i'm going to school with jyoti. i'm very very excited to meet the women she teaches and talk with them. i'm sure i'll have lots of thoughts
seriously, i have NEVER eaten like this before. so much indian food it is amazing. and jyoti keeps telling me i'm not full so i just eat and eat, and can't say i remember what having a growling stomach is like...
oh, one interesting thing... the working class people here are indian or pakistani. the elitism of the "western" expats is phenomenal. (not all, but many). the working class people work 12 hour shifts every day of the year. EVERY DAY. they dont call in sick, they get NO vacation. yet people complain that there is sand in places, or silly things like that. i hear it. and i have literally heard some white people from europe comment on how their were too many dark people around. ok, not only is that a horrid sentiment, but you are in THEIR country... wow. its funny b/c the city is so segregated, and i've been hanging out in the indian part of town. everyone thinks its strange i'm there. there are literally clubs and restaurants in this nation that are for WHITE PEOpLE ONLY... eeek...
ok, i think i've got to wrap this up.
love you all
peace out, krissy
Fri, 20 Feb 2004 05:27:01 +0000
hello all, i hope that things are well in the united states. its friday here (comprable to sunday) so its very relaxed and quiet in a city of over 1 mil people...
so, i never wrote to you about going to school with jyoti... and i wanted to share my thoughts, but i'm warning you that this will be long...
now... if you think about it... human beings constantly identify thenselves against other things. i am white, others are not white (perhaps i am simply nonbrown). not only do we do that, but we give these "others" characteristics that we dont wish, so that we can be defined against them. men are strong, therefore women must be weak.
such is the case with nationality. and coming here i have realized the extent to which we unfairly characterize and label others. americans are rational. therefore arab people, are extremeists. americans are christiam and good, therefore arab people and muslim and bad. (generalization as we all know not all americans are christian, nor are all arabs muslim). we do it with the women too. americans believe in women's liberation and we are good... so therefore arab people must oppress their women and that is bad. americans value courtship in relationships, therefore arabs value arranged marriage and no romance.
none of those things are true.
i have never been to a place where i felt more welcome by strangers. everywhere i go people are so kind and so nice. why do americans work so hard to create tension and simply not extend basic kindness to others? we dont even know the names of the people whom sweep the floors at work. we wont go out of our way to help someone find something because we tihnk that our time is worth more.
i was at jyoti's school and the women there were so friendly. i felt to welcome in their classes. they even asked me to join them in the cafeteria (which is a HUGE deal b/c i'm american). if the roles were reversed and a veiled muslim arab women was in the us, i bet 9 times out of 10 she would be ignored and talked about rather than invited to join anyone for food.
i have not met a single person with radical views about anything. in fact most people agree with me about palestin and iraq (two rather potent topic). people dont want to take over the world. they dont want to conquer. they dont want to attack america, they just want things to be peaceful and calm.
i think this is one of those things that really gets me. we call the people in palestine and iraq who are committing suicide and blowing up others radicals. and yes, often they are killing innocent people and that is very wrong (as if we aren't doing the same). however, i would bet that the united states, if invaded, would react no differently. if our monuments were torn down, our buidlings distroyed, and our houses bulldozed, would we not attack those whom are doing the damage in whatever way possible. these people have no agency and are struggling to survive for themselves, and their families. america responded to one attack by annialating a nation (afg) and starting on a second (iraq) for one attack in september. yet we judge..
when i sat with the women in the cafeteria and in jyoti's classes we talked about veils, and arranged marriage, and a litany of other things. westerners see the veil and think women are oppressed. the students see the veil as a great tool. they respect their religions and want to preserve their integrety. they enjoy using the veil to tease men and find empowerment in it. some days they will cover everything except their eyes, and boys will be wondering "what does the rest of her face look like". or they will cover their entire heads and this leaves people asserting that she must be beautiful. and it goes on. how is that different that the teasing that goes on in the us (aside from involving more clothing)?
i fail to see how htis is more oppressive than what we have at home. women at home work hard to look good. we starve ourselves, at times to death. we work out fanatically and practice crazy fad diets. we undergo expensive and dangerous plastic surgeries. we spend hundreds of dollars on makeup products, hair care, skin care. we even let people put hot wax on our eyebrows and bikini line. all for what? to get a man? we spend hours in front of amirrir trying on differnet clothes, pinching the places we see as fat or imperfect. we drive ourselves crazy for the hope that one nicht we will have someone to dance with. i dont call that independance. women in the us slander one another. we bicker, we gossip, we compete. for what? for men. have you noticed how differnet a room feels with no men in it? and how, the second one enters, the caddiness and balance shifts? i dont call that liberation.
i'm not suggesting that we should all live under veils. but i do believe that the solution is not in our culture. women aren't raped here like they are at home!
as far as arranged marriages. the women disagreed. some felt that it was a good thing, and some felt like they should get to date. we must remember that arranged marriage is NOT forced marriage and that people have the right and agency to refuse. (something the western world likes to forget). however, i can't say that the program is that bad. think about it. in my life whenever my parents like a guy, it usually worked out. either i dated them for a long time, or they ended up being a great friend. similiarly, when my parents had reservations, they were always right... and the guy was a creep. perhaps we work so hard for independance that we dont even listen to common sense advice. again, perhaps the best solution is somewher ein the middle of the two cultures.
and as far as a lack of romance in these relationships... ha! you cannot tell me that moonlit abra (boat) rides are not romantic. and the evening strolls on the beach. they do the same things we do in courtship and marriage. and men even take their kids to the grocery store.
we need to stop fearing that which we do not understand or know. fear brings hate. hate brings more hate. tihngs are not as different as they seem. we make them appear differnet so that we can make ourselves feel better. (we being a collective human experience, not just americans, and not every single person).
ok, sorry i've lectured for so long. i'll be done now.
william, you are a dork - but your request worked, here is the 4th edition of the krissy magazine..
love and peace, krissy
Sat, 21 Feb 2004 04:25:14 +0000
these are some quesitons and aswers i've gotten...
you said uae is 63% indian, right? why have people migrated there from
india? was it a colonial thing, to get laborers or when did people
start arriving? who lived there before?
i dotn know all those answers... but i'll give it a shot. people came from india for jobs. however, they ended up geting the lower class service jobs... and are the working class. i am sure that the fact that both nations were british colonies had a part in this move, i think that the relative closeness of the two nations also had something to di with it. before, there were arab people living here... and still are.
also, what kind of classes does jyoti teach? how does college work in
UAE? is it a lot different from college in the US? you said the
government will pay for it in UAE, right?
jyoti teaches paideia and humanities type classes... global studies, etc. college works similarly to the us system. i think they are there 4 years. when they are done they can go anywere in the world and get a masters/phd and the uae will pay for their schooling at all levels.
this is a respose to questions i got from an amazing friend...
ok love,
the internet is uber ucky, but i'll try to answer some of your questions...
i dont think that the way that they do it here is better... at all. i like my tanktops, and i like dating... but i did sound a little extreme. perhaps people will get to the middle with me... and i think that a middle space would be perfect... (and that we too often judge and fear that which we do not know)
as far as a choice as to whether or not to wear veils. they have a degree of choice as to how much of a veil to wear. most people wear the black over other "western clothing". at home and with other women they can wear whatever they want. i think that if a women didn't wear the veil, she would be treated very similarly to how we would be if we chose to wear a veil among a few people. but there are a lot of muslim women who reject that practice. some of whom also reject their conservative families. additionally, it doesn't seem like they want to be wearing anything else. i cant read their minds, but the people whom talked to me seemed to agree with the reasons for wearing the veil. they do it to preserve their purity. it just sort of is a way of life, and they dont think its oppressive.
the origional veiling reasons seem to have more to do with women being fashionable. i was reading a little, and it had everything to do with showing one's status. slaves and servant women were not allowed to wear them, and only upper class women could wear black ones. i think that at the same time there is a sense of separation from men through the veil. this is the problem with the burkha... its literally covers a woman's mouth so that she can't speak. i have seen no one under 60 wearing one of these. but i think that many of the women want to preserve that separation. they compare it to being a nun... no one is going to tell a nun she can't wear a habit... these women just dont have to live in convents :)
i dont think that the veil is 100% empowering. i dont think that anything in this world that is created to separate can be. but i do think that the women have used it to their advantage, and that many women feel more comfortable wearing it.
as far as men, i haven't really talked to them about their feelings on it. they all wear the same clothing too - its called a dishdash... its a white robe that goes to the floor, and then they wear a white head covering with a rope (think the bible).
i too am generalizing men and women. there are exceptions to everything.
i agree with your conclusion that there needs to be different approaches to patriarchical structures from the perspective of western and eastern women. and you said it exactly in your words "The focus and appraoch can only be evaluated
from WITHIN that specific culture..."
there are some things that i cna't get over. schools are separate. sometimes women and men cannot be friends and hang out in public. the students at the college asked me what i did for fun and i told them that i often ran around with my friends and looked at museums, monuments, etc. as i was talking i realized that first, many are not able to have that social time. and secondly, many are not able to socialize with men at all. (however, there are many that are). the more i thought about it the more i wondered if they get that social experience from their families (living with extended families at times) or if they are seriously missing out on that. this is an issue i'm struggling to understand in myself. it seems so unfair that i can't do whatever i want, whenever i want... and these women cannot. however, many women are able to leave the country to go to the university. (govt' pays for it). and many women dont see the difference or desire in doing the same things they do with their famliies, with friends. and, in reality,... most women are able to go to the mall with a group of friends. i've seen them there.
so i guess i dont know the answer to your questions, aside from agreeing with your last statement and recognizing that it isn't my place to judge and that society needs to change from within. i need to work with western women in my space, and that i can't understand what is is like to be an arab muslim living in the middle east... and even if i can', it isn't my struggle and its important to empower rather that do for (which is exactly what jyoti does by teaching women at a college).
i love you, i dont think i helped... but i tried.
i'll call you when i'm home
love always, krissy
--------------------------------
ok, duh... its all colonialism... silly krissy
the reason that the people from india are struggling is because of the rape of the nation by the british. so, of course the flight to dubai is due to it... silly krissy...
love and peace, krissy
yes, for those of you who haven't heard... i am in dubai... why you may ask? because i'm visiting my former prof jyoti who teaches here, and i have the best parents in the world...
so there is so much that i want to write about, so i'll just write about a few interesting things
first things first, coming to the airport... so as i stood in line to get my passport stamped i noticed something about the people here... hmm... all the men wear dishdash's (the white robes) and women are wearing long black "veils"... i thought about how they could NEVER work in an airport in the us... just becaues of their religion. how messed up is that? it definitely caught me off guard though. i guess i didn't realize how elegant the women looked. seriously... why do we feel the need to be naked all the time??? definitely solves the problem of body image issues, etc...
so one would then ask, isn't it repressive? i dont know. i'm struggling with that. i dont think that having men and women wear traditional outfits is. (yes, men wear them to) however, i have to say that the burkha (metal mouth coverings) that the older generation of women wear is over the top. seriously, its completely getting rid of the ability to talk... but i dont know. its hard to judge someone else's culture. i'm sure i'll have more thoughts as i talk with women at jyoti's school...
ok... so an interesting thing happened last night. we went to a global viliage festival. (in jyoti's words "a state fair gone mixed with embassy row". i got to speak kiswahili in the kenya tent. and i went to pakistan... and india... and... i went to afghanistan. well if that wasn't something. wow, did i feel bad there. there were all of these places that were actually from pakistan and they were refugee women tents. i bought some gifts from the refugee women. i coudln't say anything. i felt so ashamed. we are seriously bombing their country... and this is how they make ends meet. they spend their days sewing in refugee camps. literally. there was all sorts of information about the organizations working to help the women... and the worst part, was that there were literally people arguing with the posted prices. trying to barter because it was the last day. the money was going to refugees!!! wow...
yeah, but that wans't the interesting thing. the interesting thing was when we were in line for hte bus on the way back. this woman budded in front of us at the front of the line. when jyoti and her friend shelia kindly told the woman that she should go to the end, she refused (mind you this had happend several times, and everyone else went back). this woman called her friend on the next bus and said in arabic (which jyoti can understand) something along the lines of "can you believe it these women told ME to go to the end of hte line. Ii'm arab i can do whatever i want". i honestly can't understand how ANYONE would think that they were better than anyone else. we had literally been in line for over an hour... and there were people behind us that didn't make the bus. dont get me wrong, most of the people here are amazing and nice. and i really doubt many arab people feel that way... so no stereotyping!!
most of the people here (67%) are indian. there are a lot of british people and germans too.
ok those are today's thoughts
love you, krissy
-------------------------
ok so i had do draw this parallel to the arab woman
so many white people do the same thing all the time. still today in the us, and when they travel. while many aren't verbally saying that they think they are better... many are thinking it. not all, but many...
i just imagine white folks coming here and seriously looking at the arab people in demeaning ways, especially because of their clothing. we will think its "weird" or "oppressive" and while we may not know it, we think we are better... same thing with when white folks are scared of the "black neighborhoods". while in some areas the crime is higher, there are reasons for it. the fact that the legacy of slavery continues, and that redlining and block breaking have led to a lack of equity gaining causing black families to continue to inherit less than whites... causing hte poverty gap to grow... ok, you all get the point and i dont need to ramble.
basically i'm saying. dont judge because we do it too... and the worst part is it is so natrual that we dont even know we do it
i'm done
love and peace, krissy
---------------------------------
Mon, 16 Feb 2004 20:51:51 +0000
ok, so its bed time, but i just wanted to tell you all that there are NO homeless people here... literally ZERO!! (and people say it can't be done). its nice not seeing people surviving on the streets in blizzards.
the government subsidizes (sp? - its late) "nationals" and expats (working people from other countries) are given housing. thus, no one is without a home. similarly, everyone is allowed free schooling. the government even pays for anyone who wants to to go to college anywhere in the world (men and women).
one other thing. the community is really strict on maintaining the purity of women, so if a man was ever to hurt a woman, national or not, they are jailed and their picture is put in the paper. its one of the greatest shames. its nice to be able to walk down the street and not feel tense when a group of men pass you.
ok, bed time, i'll write more tomorrow.
meghan, happy birthday (my time). jyoti and i picked out a beautiful gift for you.
love and peace, krissy
Tue, 17 Feb 2004 18:55:23 +0000
ok, so i've gotten a lot of great questions, and tonight before i go to bed i'm going to try to answer them (and before the battery dies on the computer)
ok first: TV - yes they get american programs here. they just have subtitles...
also, they have starbucks, mcdonalds, bk, kfc, ace hardware, safeway, pizza hut, gloria jeans, ikea, and a lot of american malls
secondly: population - 1.04 million in dubai, but increasing rapidly.
ok, where do they get the money? trade (dubai is duty free, so lots of nations like to use it as a major trade port)... in the past they thrived off pearling and gold (long time ago). however, recently its because of oil. seriously, americans have no idea what it is worth.(aparently thousands of lives in afghanistan, and iraq, but who is counting -- wow, i know not all of you agree with me on that one) dubai doesn't even have oil, but they sell it/trade it. nations like iraq, saudi arabia - they have the oil. however, typically they aren't the ones making the money off it. it is the us and britian who have companies in these places doing the production. and of course, the leaders of the nations tend to be wealthy. today i saw one of many of the palaces of the leader of the uae (sheik maktoum) and the sheik zayed of dubai. rumor has it that theirs are much more substantial than husseins... and i believe it.
tomorrow i'm going to school with jyoti. i'm very very excited to meet the women she teaches and talk with them. i'm sure i'll have lots of thoughts
seriously, i have NEVER eaten like this before. so much indian food it is amazing. and jyoti keeps telling me i'm not full so i just eat and eat, and can't say i remember what having a growling stomach is like...
oh, one interesting thing... the working class people here are indian or pakistani. the elitism of the "western" expats is phenomenal. (not all, but many). the working class people work 12 hour shifts every day of the year. EVERY DAY. they dont call in sick, they get NO vacation. yet people complain that there is sand in places, or silly things like that. i hear it. and i have literally heard some white people from europe comment on how their were too many dark people around. ok, not only is that a horrid sentiment, but you are in THEIR country... wow. its funny b/c the city is so segregated, and i've been hanging out in the indian part of town. everyone thinks its strange i'm there. there are literally clubs and restaurants in this nation that are for WHITE PEOpLE ONLY... eeek...
ok, i think i've got to wrap this up.
love you all
peace out, krissy
Fri, 20 Feb 2004 05:27:01 +0000
hello all, i hope that things are well in the united states. its friday here (comprable to sunday) so its very relaxed and quiet in a city of over 1 mil people...
so, i never wrote to you about going to school with jyoti... and i wanted to share my thoughts, but i'm warning you that this will be long...
now... if you think about it... human beings constantly identify thenselves against other things. i am white, others are not white (perhaps i am simply nonbrown). not only do we do that, but we give these "others" characteristics that we dont wish, so that we can be defined against them. men are strong, therefore women must be weak.
such is the case with nationality. and coming here i have realized the extent to which we unfairly characterize and label others. americans are rational. therefore arab people, are extremeists. americans are christiam and good, therefore arab people and muslim and bad. (generalization as we all know not all americans are christian, nor are all arabs muslim). we do it with the women too. americans believe in women's liberation and we are good... so therefore arab people must oppress their women and that is bad. americans value courtship in relationships, therefore arabs value arranged marriage and no romance.
none of those things are true.
i have never been to a place where i felt more welcome by strangers. everywhere i go people are so kind and so nice. why do americans work so hard to create tension and simply not extend basic kindness to others? we dont even know the names of the people whom sweep the floors at work. we wont go out of our way to help someone find something because we tihnk that our time is worth more.
i was at jyoti's school and the women there were so friendly. i felt to welcome in their classes. they even asked me to join them in the cafeteria (which is a HUGE deal b/c i'm american). if the roles were reversed and a veiled muslim arab women was in the us, i bet 9 times out of 10 she would be ignored and talked about rather than invited to join anyone for food.
i have not met a single person with radical views about anything. in fact most people agree with me about palestin and iraq (two rather potent topic). people dont want to take over the world. they dont want to conquer. they dont want to attack america, they just want things to be peaceful and calm.
i think this is one of those things that really gets me. we call the people in palestine and iraq who are committing suicide and blowing up others radicals. and yes, often they are killing innocent people and that is very wrong (as if we aren't doing the same). however, i would bet that the united states, if invaded, would react no differently. if our monuments were torn down, our buidlings distroyed, and our houses bulldozed, would we not attack those whom are doing the damage in whatever way possible. these people have no agency and are struggling to survive for themselves, and their families. america responded to one attack by annialating a nation (afg) and starting on a second (iraq) for one attack in september. yet we judge..
when i sat with the women in the cafeteria and in jyoti's classes we talked about veils, and arranged marriage, and a litany of other things. westerners see the veil and think women are oppressed. the students see the veil as a great tool. they respect their religions and want to preserve their integrety. they enjoy using the veil to tease men and find empowerment in it. some days they will cover everything except their eyes, and boys will be wondering "what does the rest of her face look like". or they will cover their entire heads and this leaves people asserting that she must be beautiful. and it goes on. how is that different that the teasing that goes on in the us (aside from involving more clothing)?
i fail to see how htis is more oppressive than what we have at home. women at home work hard to look good. we starve ourselves, at times to death. we work out fanatically and practice crazy fad diets. we undergo expensive and dangerous plastic surgeries. we spend hundreds of dollars on makeup products, hair care, skin care. we even let people put hot wax on our eyebrows and bikini line. all for what? to get a man? we spend hours in front of amirrir trying on differnet clothes, pinching the places we see as fat or imperfect. we drive ourselves crazy for the hope that one nicht we will have someone to dance with. i dont call that independance. women in the us slander one another. we bicker, we gossip, we compete. for what? for men. have you noticed how differnet a room feels with no men in it? and how, the second one enters, the caddiness and balance shifts? i dont call that liberation.
i'm not suggesting that we should all live under veils. but i do believe that the solution is not in our culture. women aren't raped here like they are at home!
as far as arranged marriages. the women disagreed. some felt that it was a good thing, and some felt like they should get to date. we must remember that arranged marriage is NOT forced marriage and that people have the right and agency to refuse. (something the western world likes to forget). however, i can't say that the program is that bad. think about it. in my life whenever my parents like a guy, it usually worked out. either i dated them for a long time, or they ended up being a great friend. similiarly, when my parents had reservations, they were always right... and the guy was a creep. perhaps we work so hard for independance that we dont even listen to common sense advice. again, perhaps the best solution is somewher ein the middle of the two cultures.
and as far as a lack of romance in these relationships... ha! you cannot tell me that moonlit abra (boat) rides are not romantic. and the evening strolls on the beach. they do the same things we do in courtship and marriage. and men even take their kids to the grocery store.
we need to stop fearing that which we do not understand or know. fear brings hate. hate brings more hate. tihngs are not as different as they seem. we make them appear differnet so that we can make ourselves feel better. (we being a collective human experience, not just americans, and not every single person).
ok, sorry i've lectured for so long. i'll be done now.
william, you are a dork - but your request worked, here is the 4th edition of the krissy magazine..
love and peace, krissy
Sat, 21 Feb 2004 04:25:14 +0000
these are some quesitons and aswers i've gotten...
you said uae is 63% indian, right? why have people migrated there from
india? was it a colonial thing, to get laborers or when did people
start arriving? who lived there before?
i dotn know all those answers... but i'll give it a shot. people came from india for jobs. however, they ended up geting the lower class service jobs... and are the working class. i am sure that the fact that both nations were british colonies had a part in this move, i think that the relative closeness of the two nations also had something to di with it. before, there were arab people living here... and still are.
also, what kind of classes does jyoti teach? how does college work in
UAE? is it a lot different from college in the US? you said the
government will pay for it in UAE, right?
jyoti teaches paideia and humanities type classes... global studies, etc. college works similarly to the us system. i think they are there 4 years. when they are done they can go anywere in the world and get a masters/phd and the uae will pay for their schooling at all levels.
this is a respose to questions i got from an amazing friend...
ok love,
the internet is uber ucky, but i'll try to answer some of your questions...
i dont think that the way that they do it here is better... at all. i like my tanktops, and i like dating... but i did sound a little extreme. perhaps people will get to the middle with me... and i think that a middle space would be perfect... (and that we too often judge and fear that which we do not know)
as far as a choice as to whether or not to wear veils. they have a degree of choice as to how much of a veil to wear. most people wear the black over other "western clothing". at home and with other women they can wear whatever they want. i think that if a women didn't wear the veil, she would be treated very similarly to how we would be if we chose to wear a veil among a few people. but there are a lot of muslim women who reject that practice. some of whom also reject their conservative families. additionally, it doesn't seem like they want to be wearing anything else. i cant read their minds, but the people whom talked to me seemed to agree with the reasons for wearing the veil. they do it to preserve their purity. it just sort of is a way of life, and they dont think its oppressive.
the origional veiling reasons seem to have more to do with women being fashionable. i was reading a little, and it had everything to do with showing one's status. slaves and servant women were not allowed to wear them, and only upper class women could wear black ones. i think that at the same time there is a sense of separation from men through the veil. this is the problem with the burkha... its literally covers a woman's mouth so that she can't speak. i have seen no one under 60 wearing one of these. but i think that many of the women want to preserve that separation. they compare it to being a nun... no one is going to tell a nun she can't wear a habit... these women just dont have to live in convents :)
i dont think that the veil is 100% empowering. i dont think that anything in this world that is created to separate can be. but i do think that the women have used it to their advantage, and that many women feel more comfortable wearing it.
as far as men, i haven't really talked to them about their feelings on it. they all wear the same clothing too - its called a dishdash... its a white robe that goes to the floor, and then they wear a white head covering with a rope (think the bible).
i too am generalizing men and women. there are exceptions to everything.
i agree with your conclusion that there needs to be different approaches to patriarchical structures from the perspective of western and eastern women. and you said it exactly in your words "The focus and appraoch can only be evaluated
from WITHIN that specific culture..."
there are some things that i cna't get over. schools are separate. sometimes women and men cannot be friends and hang out in public. the students at the college asked me what i did for fun and i told them that i often ran around with my friends and looked at museums, monuments, etc. as i was talking i realized that first, many are not able to have that social time. and secondly, many are not able to socialize with men at all. (however, there are many that are). the more i thought about it the more i wondered if they get that social experience from their families (living with extended families at times) or if they are seriously missing out on that. this is an issue i'm struggling to understand in myself. it seems so unfair that i can't do whatever i want, whenever i want... and these women cannot. however, many women are able to leave the country to go to the university. (govt' pays for it). and many women dont see the difference or desire in doing the same things they do with their famliies, with friends. and, in reality,... most women are able to go to the mall with a group of friends. i've seen them there.
so i guess i dont know the answer to your questions, aside from agreeing with your last statement and recognizing that it isn't my place to judge and that society needs to change from within. i need to work with western women in my space, and that i can't understand what is is like to be an arab muslim living in the middle east... and even if i can', it isn't my struggle and its important to empower rather that do for (which is exactly what jyoti does by teaching women at a college).
i love you, i dont think i helped... but i tried.
i'll call you when i'm home
love always, krissy
--------------------------------
ok, duh... its all colonialism... silly krissy
the reason that the people from india are struggling is because of the rape of the nation by the british. so, of course the flight to dubai is due to it... silly krissy...
love and peace, krissy
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