Notes from my trip to Dubai: Feb. 2004

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 12:24:51 +0000


yes, for those of you who haven't heard... i am in dubai... why you may ask? because i'm visiting my former prof jyoti who teaches here, and i have the best parents in the world...

so there is so much that i want to write about, so i'll just write about a few interesting things

first things first, coming to the airport... so as i stood in line to get my passport stamped i noticed something about the people here... hmm... all the men wear dishdash's (the white robes) and women are wearing long black "veils"... i thought about how they could NEVER work in an airport in the us... just becaues of their religion. how messed up is that? it definitely caught me off guard though. i guess i didn't realize how elegant the women looked. seriously... why do we feel the need to be naked all the time??? definitely solves the problem of body image issues, etc...

so one would then ask, isn't it repressive? i dont know. i'm struggling with that. i dont think that having men and women wear traditional outfits is. (yes, men wear them to) however, i have to say that the burkha (metal mouth coverings) that the older generation of women wear is over the top. seriously, its completely getting rid of the ability to talk... but i dont know. its hard to judge someone else's culture. i'm sure i'll have more thoughts as i talk with women at jyoti's school...

ok... so an interesting thing happened last night. we went to a global viliage festival. (in jyoti's words "a state fair gone mixed with embassy row". i got to speak kiswahili in the kenya tent. and i went to pakistan... and india... and... i went to afghanistan. well if that wasn't something. wow, did i feel bad there. there were all of these places that were actually from pakistan and they were refugee women tents. i bought some gifts from the refugee women. i coudln't say anything. i felt so ashamed. we are seriously bombing their country... and this is how they make ends meet. they spend their days sewing in refugee camps. literally. there was all sorts of information about the organizations working to help the women... and the worst part, was that there were literally people arguing with the posted prices. trying to barter because it was the last day. the money was going to refugees!!! wow...

yeah, but that wans't the interesting thing. the interesting thing was when we were in line for hte bus on the way back. this woman budded in front of us at the front of the line. when jyoti and her friend shelia kindly told the woman that she should go to the end, she refused (mind you this had happend several times, and everyone else went back). this woman called her friend on the next bus and said in arabic (which jyoti can understand) something along the lines of "can you believe it these women told ME to go to the end of hte line. Ii'm arab i can do whatever i want". i honestly can't understand how ANYONE would think that they were better than anyone else. we had literally been in line for over an hour... and there were people behind us that didn't make the bus. dont get me wrong, most of the people here are amazing and nice. and i really doubt many arab people feel that way... so no stereotyping!!

most of the people here (67%) are indian. there are a lot of british people and germans too.

ok those are today's thoughts

love you, krissy

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ok so i had do draw this parallel to the arab woman



so many white people do the same thing all the time. still today in the us, and when they travel. while many aren't verbally saying that they think they are better... many are thinking it. not all, but many...



i just imagine white folks coming here and seriously looking at the arab people in demeaning ways, especially because of their clothing. we will think its "weird" or "oppressive" and while we may not know it, we think we are better... same thing with when white folks are scared of the "black neighborhoods". while in some areas the crime is higher, there are reasons for it. the fact that the legacy of slavery continues, and that redlining and block breaking have led to a lack of equity gaining causing black families to continue to inherit less than whites... causing hte poverty gap to grow... ok, you all get the point and i dont need to ramble.



basically i'm saying. dont judge because we do it too... and the worst part is it is so natrual that we dont even know we do it



i'm done



love and peace, krissy

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Mon, 16 Feb 2004 20:51:51 +0000


ok, so its bed time, but i just wanted to tell you all that there are NO homeless people here... literally ZERO!! (and people say it can't be done). its nice not seeing people surviving on the streets in blizzards.

the government subsidizes (sp? - its late) "nationals" and expats (working people from other countries) are given housing. thus, no one is without a home. similarly, everyone is allowed free schooling. the government even pays for anyone who wants to to go to college anywhere in the world (men and women).

one other thing. the community is really strict on maintaining the purity of women, so if a man was ever to hurt a woman, national or not, they are jailed and their picture is put in the paper. its one of the greatest shames. its nice to be able to walk down the street and not feel tense when a group of men pass you.

ok, bed time, i'll write more tomorrow.

meghan, happy birthday (my time). jyoti and i picked out a beautiful gift for you.

love and peace, krissy

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 18:55:23 +0000


ok, so i've gotten a lot of great questions, and tonight before i go to bed i'm going to try to answer them (and before the battery dies on the computer)

ok first: TV - yes they get american programs here. they just have subtitles...

also, they have starbucks, mcdonalds, bk, kfc, ace hardware, safeway, pizza hut, gloria jeans, ikea, and a lot of american malls

secondly: population - 1.04 million in dubai, but increasing rapidly.

ok, where do they get the money? trade (dubai is duty free, so lots of nations like to use it as a major trade port)... in the past they thrived off pearling and gold (long time ago). however, recently its because of oil. seriously, americans have no idea what it is worth.(aparently thousands of lives in afghanistan, and iraq, but who is counting -- wow, i know not all of you agree with me on that one) dubai doesn't even have oil, but they sell it/trade it. nations like iraq, saudi arabia - they have the oil. however, typically they aren't the ones making the money off it. it is the us and britian who have companies in these places doing the production. and of course, the leaders of the nations tend to be wealthy. today i saw one of many of the palaces of the leader of the uae (sheik maktoum) and the sheik zayed of dubai. rumor has it that theirs are much more substantial than husseins... and i believe it.

tomorrow i'm going to school with jyoti. i'm very very excited to meet the women she teaches and talk with them. i'm sure i'll have lots of thoughts

seriously, i have NEVER eaten like this before. so much indian food it is amazing. and jyoti keeps telling me i'm not full so i just eat and eat, and can't say i remember what having a growling stomach is like...

oh, one interesting thing... the working class people here are indian or pakistani. the elitism of the "western" expats is phenomenal. (not all, but many). the working class people work 12 hour shifts every day of the year. EVERY DAY. they dont call in sick, they get NO vacation. yet people complain that there is sand in places, or silly things like that. i hear it. and i have literally heard some white people from europe comment on how their were too many dark people around. ok, not only is that a horrid sentiment, but you are in THEIR country... wow. its funny b/c the city is so segregated, and i've been hanging out in the indian part of town. everyone thinks its strange i'm there. there are literally clubs and restaurants in this nation that are for WHITE PEOpLE ONLY... eeek...

ok, i think i've got to wrap this up.

love you all

peace out, krissy

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 05:27:01 +0000


hello all, i hope that things are well in the united states. its friday here (comprable to sunday) so its very relaxed and quiet in a city of over 1 mil people...

so, i never wrote to you about going to school with jyoti... and i wanted to share my thoughts, but i'm warning you that this will be long...

now... if you think about it... human beings constantly identify thenselves against other things. i am white, others are not white (perhaps i am simply nonbrown). not only do we do that, but we give these "others" characteristics that we dont wish, so that we can be defined against them. men are strong, therefore women must be weak.

such is the case with nationality. and coming here i have realized the extent to which we unfairly characterize and label others. americans are rational. therefore arab people, are extremeists. americans are christiam and good, therefore arab people and muslim and bad. (generalization as we all know not all americans are christian, nor are all arabs muslim). we do it with the women too. americans believe in women's liberation and we are good... so therefore arab people must oppress their women and that is bad. americans value courtship in relationships, therefore arabs value arranged marriage and no romance.

none of those things are true.

i have never been to a place where i felt more welcome by strangers. everywhere i go people are so kind and so nice. why do americans work so hard to create tension and simply not extend basic kindness to others? we dont even know the names of the people whom sweep the floors at work. we wont go out of our way to help someone find something because we tihnk that our time is worth more.

i was at jyoti's school and the women there were so friendly. i felt to welcome in their classes. they even asked me to join them in the cafeteria (which is a HUGE deal b/c i'm american). if the roles were reversed and a veiled muslim arab women was in the us, i bet 9 times out of 10 she would be ignored and talked about rather than invited to join anyone for food.

i have not met a single person with radical views about anything. in fact most people agree with me about palestin and iraq (two rather potent topic). people dont want to take over the world. they dont want to conquer. they dont want to attack america, they just want things to be peaceful and calm.

i think this is one of those things that really gets me. we call the people in palestine and iraq who are committing suicide and blowing up others radicals. and yes, often they are killing innocent people and that is very wrong (as if we aren't doing the same). however, i would bet that the united states, if invaded, would react no differently. if our monuments were torn down, our buidlings distroyed, and our houses bulldozed, would we not attack those whom are doing the damage in whatever way possible. these people have no agency and are struggling to survive for themselves, and their families. america responded to one attack by annialating a nation (afg) and starting on a second (iraq) for one attack in september. yet we judge..

when i sat with the women in the cafeteria and in jyoti's classes we talked about veils, and arranged marriage, and a litany of other things. westerners see the veil and think women are oppressed. the students see the veil as a great tool. they respect their religions and want to preserve their integrety. they enjoy using the veil to tease men and find empowerment in it. some days they will cover everything except their eyes, and boys will be wondering "what does the rest of her face look like". or they will cover their entire heads and this leaves people asserting that she must be beautiful. and it goes on. how is that different that the teasing that goes on in the us (aside from involving more clothing)?

i fail to see how htis is more oppressive than what we have at home. women at home work hard to look good. we starve ourselves, at times to death. we work out fanatically and practice crazy fad diets. we undergo expensive and dangerous plastic surgeries. we spend hundreds of dollars on makeup products, hair care, skin care. we even let people put hot wax on our eyebrows and bikini line. all for what? to get a man? we spend hours in front of amirrir trying on differnet clothes, pinching the places we see as fat or imperfect. we drive ourselves crazy for the hope that one nicht we will have someone to dance with. i dont call that independance. women in the us slander one another. we bicker, we gossip, we compete. for what? for men. have you noticed how differnet a room feels with no men in it? and how, the second one enters, the caddiness and balance shifts? i dont call that liberation.

i'm not suggesting that we should all live under veils. but i do believe that the solution is not in our culture. women aren't raped here like they are at home!

as far as arranged marriages. the women disagreed. some felt that it was a good thing, and some felt like they should get to date. we must remember that arranged marriage is NOT forced marriage and that people have the right and agency to refuse. (something the western world likes to forget). however, i can't say that the program is that bad. think about it. in my life whenever my parents like a guy, it usually worked out. either i dated them for a long time, or they ended up being a great friend. similiarly, when my parents had reservations, they were always right... and the guy was a creep. perhaps we work so hard for independance that we dont even listen to common sense advice. again, perhaps the best solution is somewher ein the middle of the two cultures.

and as far as a lack of romance in these relationships... ha! you cannot tell me that moonlit abra (boat) rides are not romantic. and the evening strolls on the beach. they do the same things we do in courtship and marriage. and men even take their kids to the grocery store.

we need to stop fearing that which we do not understand or know. fear brings hate. hate brings more hate. tihngs are not as different as they seem. we make them appear differnet so that we can make ourselves feel better. (we being a collective human experience, not just americans, and not every single person).



ok, sorry i've lectured for so long. i'll be done now.

william, you are a dork - but your request worked, here is the 4th edition of the krissy magazine..

love and peace, krissy


Sat, 21 Feb 2004 04:25:14 +0000


these are some quesitons and aswers i've gotten...

you said uae is 63% indian, right? why have people migrated there from
india? was it a colonial thing, to get laborers or when did people
start arriving? who lived there before?

i dotn know all those answers... but i'll give it a shot. people came from india for jobs. however, they ended up geting the lower class service jobs... and are the working class. i am sure that the fact that both nations were british colonies had a part in this move, i think that the relative closeness of the two nations also had something to di with it. before, there were arab people living here... and still are.

also, what kind of classes does jyoti teach? how does college work in
UAE? is it a lot different from college in the US? you said the
government will pay for it in UAE, right?


jyoti teaches paideia and humanities type classes... global studies, etc. college works similarly to the us system. i think they are there 4 years. when they are done they can go anywere in the world and get a masters/phd and the uae will pay for their schooling at all levels.

this is a respose to questions i got from an amazing friend...

ok love,

the internet is uber ucky, but i'll try to answer some of your questions...

i dont think that the way that they do it here is better... at all. i like my tanktops, and i like dating... but i did sound a little extreme. perhaps people will get to the middle with me... and i think that a middle space would be perfect... (and that we too often judge and fear that which we do not know)

as far as a choice as to whether or not to wear veils. they have a degree of choice as to how much of a veil to wear. most people wear the black over other "western clothing". at home and with other women they can wear whatever they want. i think that if a women didn't wear the veil, she would be treated very similarly to how we would be if we chose to wear a veil among a few people. but there are a lot of muslim women who reject that practice. some of whom also reject their conservative families. additionally, it doesn't seem like they want to be wearing anything else. i cant read their minds, but the people whom talked to me seemed to agree with the reasons for wearing the veil. they do it to preserve their purity. it just sort of is a way of life, and they dont think its oppressive.

the origional veiling reasons seem to have more to do with women being fashionable. i was reading a little, and it had everything to do with showing one's status. slaves and servant women were not allowed to wear them, and only upper class women could wear black ones. i think that at the same time there is a sense of separation from men through the veil. this is the problem with the burkha... its literally covers a woman's mouth so that she can't speak. i have seen no one under 60 wearing one of these. but i think that many of the women want to preserve that separation. they compare it to being a nun... no one is going to tell a nun she can't wear a habit... these women just dont have to live in convents :)

i dont think that the veil is 100% empowering. i dont think that anything in this world that is created to separate can be. but i do think that the women have used it to their advantage, and that many women feel more comfortable wearing it.

as far as men, i haven't really talked to them about their feelings on it. they all wear the same clothing too - its called a dishdash... its a white robe that goes to the floor, and then they wear a white head covering with a rope (think the bible).

i too am generalizing men and women. there are exceptions to everything.

i agree with your conclusion that there needs to be different approaches to patriarchical structures from the perspective of western and eastern women. and you said it exactly in your words "The focus and appraoch can only be evaluated
from WITHIN that specific culture..."

there are some things that i cna't get over. schools are separate. sometimes women and men cannot be friends and hang out in public. the students at the college asked me what i did for fun and i told them that i often ran around with my friends and looked at museums, monuments, etc. as i was talking i realized that first, many are not able to have that social time. and secondly, many are not able to socialize with men at all. (however, there are many that are). the more i thought about it the more i wondered if they get that social experience from their families (living with extended families at times) or if they are seriously missing out on that. this is an issue i'm struggling to understand in myself. it seems so unfair that i can't do whatever i want, whenever i want... and these women cannot. however, many women are able to leave the country to go to the university. (govt' pays for it). and many women dont see the difference or desire in doing the same things they do with their famliies, with friends. and, in reality,... most women are able to go to the mall with a group of friends. i've seen them there.

so i guess i dont know the answer to your questions, aside from agreeing with your last statement and recognizing that it isn't my place to judge and that society needs to change from within. i need to work with western women in my space, and that i can't understand what is is like to be an arab muslim living in the middle east... and even if i can', it isn't my struggle and its important to empower rather that do for (which is exactly what jyoti does by teaching women at a college).

i love you, i dont think i helped... but i tried.

i'll call you when i'm home

love always, krissy

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ok, duh... its all colonialism... silly krissy

the reason that the people from india are struggling is because of the rape of the nation by the british. so, of course the flight to dubai is due to it... silly krissy...

love and peace, krissy