Notes from my trip to Ghana: August 2004

04 August 2004

Ok, I’ve made it to Ghana!

My first flight was 3.5 hours late taking off, so I almost missed the second, yet I am here. My one little bag, however, is a different story. My fault, I didn't want to carry it around - should have. Oh, well, it will come tonight (we hope)

So far I don’t have many stories to tell. The second flight was interesting. I had a hard time with the business class thing. I kept reminding myself it was free, but it didn't help. Yes, the personal TV, the massager, the fact that it turned into a freaking bed and I got to pick from 8 movies was nice, BUT it wasn't worth it to me to have to watch people walk past me and sit somewhere where they didn't have those things, especially b/c I saw how racially divided it was. My second flight was mostly brown, but the business class was mostly white. After we dropped people off in Lagos, there was "open seating", but it was by class. People didn't know that so the guy had to keep making people leave the nice seats and go to the back. I felt like it was the 1950s on a bus somewhere - but not REMOTELY as horrid. It wasn't quite as easy to tell who was supposed to go to the back. It wasn't based as obviously in a legacy of racism, but that legacy obviously plays a huge part in who has and who does not. Regardless, it still kind of made me ill. I just want everyone to be treated the same, why is that so hard? Why is our world run on a power system controlled by money? Why do people with more money have more valued lives? Makes no sense to me.

I did sit next to an awesome guy from New Zealand though. We talked about the us for a long time. He decided that I should work for the UN. Glad I have strangers making these decisions for me.

hm...

First impressions? It’s more like Tanzania than I expected it to be. It is kind of like Dar es Salaam but not as huge of a city, more a sprawl situation. We are staying in a hotel in Accra till our luggage comes, and then moving on to cape coast (el mina, the slavery castles, and other things that I need to learn about). From there we will be going to Sodoke (where Anna lives). I won’t have internet access after today until we bring Jerod back to the airport in two weeks.

I haven't had any new foods yet, nor have I really experienced that many things different from my other trips. They have trotros here which are like the daladalas in TZ. I got to ride in one. They are essentially really rusted out vans that act as private buses. Always a good time.

I feel like I should have something profound to say, but really, I have just reinvigorated my belief that things need to change. There is no reason that we need such a wealth gap. If people are underprivileged, others by definition must be over privileged. It just hurts my heart to have to walk past the kids on the street. Every face I see, every set of beautiful eyes I look into, every heart choking down its dreams, and they all make me promise more greatly that I will do something meaningful with my life. That I will work to make the world a better place. I won’t give up.

I love you all and I promise that my next email will have lots of facts about Ghana and many many more incites. If you don’t want to hear it - let me know and I’ll keep it to my self. I normally have good reviews, except for the length :)

love always, krissy

08 August 04

Ok, so I have limited time, but SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ALL!!

First to answer the questions. Yes I got my bag and no it isn't hot here at all (I’m serious, DC was much much worse, in fact, I have been cold the last two afternoons/evenings).

Secondly, I have to correct an error. I was wrong about Accra. It is a city. I was just staying in a part called Osu, and it is sort of suburban

Now that we got that out of the way. I’ll start by acknowledging the questions you are probably asking.

Where am I staying? Basically, cheap hotels. We are working on low budget here. Think 4 people to a double bed. Hey, it works. Think no a/c, but definitely a fan! After tonight we will be going to Anna’s village and staying in her house in a village called sokode (near ho in the Volta region).

How are the bathrooms? Well, in Accra they are quite nice, they even have toilet paper! Elsewhere, not so much tp. You don’t usually flush, not the cleanest, but it works. I have no complaints (wow, I’ve changed since middle school, huh mom and dad?).

Today I had an interesting bathroom experience. Most of the time we take public transportation called a tro-tro. It is similar to a daladala in Tanzania. Basically it is a 12 passenger van made to fit between 16 and 24 people (depending on if we are in an area where the limit is enforced). Anyway, today we took a bus (for you Ghanaians the stc). When they had a stop I got out using the "well". Turns out its kind of a trough you squat over. Definitely have never done that before. It was a little unnerving b/c a lot of women had missed and you had to kind of stand in a puddle, but, again, it works! :) I have no complaints. I have forgotten that you have to carry your own toilet paper though. I kind of had to "make do" with other things one time, but, I’ll spare you the details.

So... other random things before I get to the real stuff. Um. A lot of the time when you get to take the tro tro there are people who are preaching at the station while you wait (they don’t leave till they are full). They preach to your bus, and then ask for money. One time we were with another woman named Jackie (an amazing woman from New Zealand). She turned and asked the people behind us if the preacher was crazy. They said "he is preaching". She felt kind of bad.

This isn't coming out well because I feel rushed. urg.

basically, it’s interesting how differently I see things. the first time I studied abroad I was overcome by the women with baskets on their head or with babies strapped to their backs. the markets with people selling everything you could ever want. the fact that there was no hot water in the showers and no toilet paper, and that I slept with ants drove me nuts. I was also distracted by the goats and dogs, etc. however, I have to say that this time around my thoughts are much different. I guess you get those "differences" out of the way and it’s easier to be comfortable and really get to talk to people.

ok, I’m just going to take my time and write the things I want to say. if I don’t finish, I don’t finish.

so, a few days ago we went to cape coast. at cape coast there is a castle (cape coast castle). in fante it is called oguaa. so. the castle was built by people enslaved by the Swedes in 1652. it has changed hands 5 times in the 13 years following its creation. it was the headquarters of the British occupation until 1876... and, its purpose? well, for a large part of its history it was a place where slaves were traded.

we went to the castle and took a guided tour. I can't even tell you what that felt like. we started by visiting the male dungeon. the tour guide showed us the small room people lived in. there were over 700 people in each dungeon. they were forced to eat and go to the bathroom and everything in these rooms. there was no light and no ventilation. if they "acted up" (i.e. stood up for themselves) they were sent to horrid cells which were essentially death sentences (they would suffocate to death from lack of air). the guide said that the waste in the dungeon was over 2 feet high when archeologists excavated them. the average stay of a person in this situation was 6 weeks. it made me sick to think of the lack of humanity the enslavers had and in many ways continue to have today (now who are today's enslavers??). slave ships at the time couldn't reach shore so the men were forced through tunnels onto small boats where they were placed on big ships.

the women were treated just as badly as the men. in addition, they were raped.

in comparison to these things the governor had a huge room, with a great view, a lot of light and ventilation.

the fante people had been tricked into letting the governor build on this land. they were told they were signing a bond of friendship. it was supposed to expire after 100 years, Ghana wasn't "independent" until 1957 and it wasn't until 1960 when they were completely independent politically.

so, that is sort of a summary of what we saw. I can't believe that after studying this for so long I was actually there. now, here are my thoughts.

our (the united states') entire economy is based on the backs of West African slaves. I think about the debt we owe not only to this continent, but to African American people and am completely overwhelmed. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIED TO MAKE OUR COUNTRY WHAT IT IS! it is absolutely absurd to me that we think that west Africa and other "indebted nations" (i.e. former places that were COLONIZED) should pay us over $2 trillion in debt (to which interest of $700 million is added daily). this prevents money from going where it NEEDS to go - to housing, health care, education, EVERYTHING WE TAKE FOR GRANTED.

after touring the castle I sat and looked at the sea. I could just picture slave ships coming into view. thousands of PEOPLE packed together, covered in filth. I went back down to the dungeon and just felt the souls of all these people who were betrayed and treated worse than animals. what can you even feel? what can you say? I’m sorry? how in the world does being sorry cover what we did? (I know a lot of you want to tell me that "we" isn't the right word to use here, but it is we who benefit today from these actions, so, I chose to use it here). there aren't even words to describe how horrendous this entire thing is. is that why we don’t think about it? I mean REALLY think about it. yeah, we learn about slavery in history
classes, but it is just an abstract thing with no relevance to us. ha! our entire lives are built on this institution. everyday our wealth, comfort, etc is taken for granted. not only because we have it and others don’t, but because of WHY we have it. how can we say we KNOW this horrid history without FEELING it, without DOING anything about it? how can we be against reparations if we know this truth? I fail to understand how the wealthiest nation cannot attempt to help? why can't we cancel this erroneous debt? why can't we fund education in inner cities in the US? why can't we admit we have screwed up, that we continue to benefit from it, and do something to make it better?

ok, I’m still hurrying too much and not really being very articulate. I apologize for that. I’m really sleepy too.

now that I’ve completely alienated my audience, I’ll continue. (I feel like I need some comic relief here, so fill this space in with a joke of your own...)

so. after visiting cape coast we went to kakum national park. it was quite beautiful. we did a canopy walk (hiking on bridges atop the trees in a rainforest).

after that we traveled to Elmina - another slave port. this castle is 522 years old. it was built by the Portuguese and was the first "western" icon on the continent. after the Portuguese it was owned by the Dutch and British. it was very similar to cape coast castle in structure and horror. here there was a balcony which the governor would stand on. they would chain women to the cement below and he would choose one to rape.

after our tour here I went down to the women’s dungeon and just felt. it’s amazing to me that not only could these sorts of things happen, but that we continue to enslave people today. it may not be in the same manner, but it is obvious that Africa is still very much enslaved. look at the world bank/imf/ international debt. it’s horrid. why is it so hard to do what is right?

I have more stories about the castles, but this is getting long and I should talk about happy things too. I promise that these things don’t make me miserable. instead, I am able to take it all in and realize that I have a purpose in my life. that I need to do as much as I can to right these wrongs. I know a lot of you have told me that you think I feel "guilty", but I don’t. it isn't my fault that all this happened. it is however my responsibility as a privileged person to do something about it. as Tim wise says "to clean up the funk". otherwise, who will?

on a better note, our tour guide Tette was awesome and I got to talk with him a little bit afterwards. he had a great perspective on acknowledging the past, accepting it, learning from it, and moving on. I think that we forget the learning part a lot.

onto the happy stuff.

after the castles we went to busua beach. it was beautiful! it is in a small village (busua) and rather free of tourists. we stayed in a small hotel and ran into several peace corps peoples. we didn't really spend much time with them, but we did have some awesome experiences talking with other people who lived in the village. I made a great friend named Nathaniel. we spent a great deal of time talking with him throughout the day. that evening Anna, Jerod, and I ate dinner down the beach at a man named jerry's place. the food was amazing. after dinner he offered to "make good vibe" with me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to do it. anyway, jerry and friends ended up having a bonfire for us. Nathaniel came too. I got to spend the evening talking with him about everything from his favorite food to the world bank. I learned so much hearing his perspective on international economic policy. if I had more time I would be more clear about that. basically it was really hard for him to support the world the world bank is doing in Ghana. they are currently privatizing water (which I think is abhorred as water is a human right). we talked a lot about the greed of politicians. he compared bush to mugabe, which I didn't feel was much of a stretch. anyway, I learned a lot. this morning we went jogging on the beach barefoot. he was a little fast for me so I had to work hard to keep up.

oh, and jerry had a monkey named freedom. it fell asleep in my lap.

I have to say that traveling in small groups and not with a class is rather liberating. it’s amazing to have the freedom to spend time with people and get to know people who actually live where you are visiting. it’s like when I visited Jyoti in Dubai and really got to talk to her students.

I definitely have caught a travel bug. I’m trying to figure out ways I can work for not profits/ngos during the summer and make enough money to survive. any ideas? there is so much to learn! so many people to meet! the world is so small, yet so large. we are all so different, yet so much the same. I’m doing a lot of reflecting on life, the future, and what I want to do. anyone out there want to pay me to travel so I can just write about the world? all I need is food and a place to sleep. ;)

I love being out of the US. it’s such a contrast from DC in the villages here. I love that I haven't changed my clothes in 5 days (don’t worry, I have taken some cold showers). I love that we don’t always have electricity or running water. I love that I don’t need to wear makeup and that beauty is judged by the person you are and not how you look. I love that there is no extra "stuff". it’s so funny to me how so many of us think our happiness depends on things. I love that people are real. ah! I just love it!

I feel like this email is coming across as anti-American or anti-us. I don’t mean it to be at all. I love my home. I love the us. I just wish that we were a more reflective people. and I love that I have the ability to go to these places and learn so many new things. its b/c I live in a wonderful place that this is even possible.

I have to tell you that Anna and I are iming right now. this is silly b/c we are in the same computer lab. its also silly b/c we used to do it freshman year, even though we shared a desk.

wow. I have so much more to say, but I have written too much.

Anna is doing great. she is definitely in her element here. people love her and she loves them. she is beautiful.

I will leave you with the text of our favorite sign here in Ghana. the following appeared on the top of a building in cape coast:

"except the lord"

we aren't sure what that means, but it was pretty funny. almost as funny as the night there were some bugs in our bed and I asked Anna what it is like when you have bedbugs. I think I said "would you see one, or are there several". her response: "it depends on how many there are".

anyway, I’ll leave you to read the novel in peace. I’m sorry it is so long. I’m just learning so much!

love and peace, krissy

13 August 04

OK, so, in case you were wondering, I still love Ghana!

We got to Anna's village (Bagble) and it has been amazing. I think the easiest thing is to send you a day by day inventory of what we have been up to.

The first day in Sokode (the community of villages she lives in) we walked around and were introduced to everyone. There are only a few hundred people who live here, but it took us 5 hours. Some of my favorite people were Todia - he owns the local store/hang out. He gave us soda and tried to talk us into moving to Ghana. He is a super funny man. The other person who we met that was super cool was Solomon. He is very into politics. He sat with us for a few hours, gave us a beer, and talked about how bad Bush was for the world. We also talked about Ghanaian politics, and other African nations (Zimbabwe, Kenya, Liberia, Sierra Leone, etc). It was great to have someone to really talk to about all these things.

What I learned about Ghanaian politics I'll share briefly. It is a multiparty system, but, like the US there are two main parties. The NDC is similar to our democrats, and the NPP is like our republicans. There is also the CPP (started by Nkrumah) which is more like our Greens/Socialists. They have elections coming up in December.

Solomon also gave us our first Ghanaian meal - it was Banku and Okro soup (egg plant, other veggies, and fish (which I ate around) in palm oil). It was very good... yum!

The second day we were in Sokode I started with a short jog (or training as they call it here). I had one proposal, but told them my boyfriend at home would be mad. In the morning Anna, Jerod, and I worked on her farm with See-Saw and Comfort (two employees). They are amazing and we had a lot of fun. We also got treated to Palm Wine by some guys in the woods. The guys are hilarious, and the wine is amazing.

For lunch we had bobo - which is beans, gari, and plantains. Gari is cassava.

That afternoon we went to the neighboring village and met the chief. It was really fun, but slightly awkward. We were serenaded by American music television. This was followed by a math show. We just sort of sat in silence after initial conversation. Anna said that often the amount of time you spend with people is valued over the quality of the time. Who knows?

That evening we ate with her friends (who are amazing) and had Akple and okro soup. Her friends are Kweku, Kosi Fred, and Kosi Paul. I can't tell you how much fun we have. They have taught us several Ghanaian games (one is like mancala - I ended up being pretty good at that) and done other random activities with us. Basically, we just hang out a lot.

One thing that really bugs me is that people in the village here don't necessarily get paid. I learned that this morning. Benice is the employer at Anna's farm. See-saw and Comfort came down to work for her and have not been paid at all. Apparently that's just how it is. One day they will be paid (in theory). I got rather upset about this. They work so hard and are amazing people.

When I met Benice I got even more upset about it. She just sort of came in and ordered everyone around. She was telling Comfort and SeeSaw what to do in their own home (this was yesterday and they were making us lunch). Urg! The arrogance just hurt my soul. It wouldn't be PC for Americans to do, but the classism at home exists as well.

I'm not really being that clear on my thoughts again b/c I'm hurrying. Kosi Fred and Kweku are with us, but not really doing the internet thing.

Oh, I forgot! I have a new name. Initially I was named Ama by a man on a tro-tro, but when I got to Sokode they changed it to Akosua (hm, sound familiar Akos??) It means Sunday born (by the way, what day was I really born mom and dad?).

The third day we again went to the farm in the morning. We had some great talks with See-Saw and went and got our photo taken with the palm wine people (they were upset with us for not having our camera the day before, apparently photos are expensive here and they wanted one). See-Saw had a lot of good questions about things he has heard about the US and immigration. Why is it so hard for people who have melanin in their skin to immigrate, but not so hard for white people??? Messed up!

That day we also washed our clothes in a bucket. I'm getting good. My practice in TZ paid off.

After lunch we went to Kweku's and hung out. Kosi Fred decided that I was his new best friend. We played a lot of Mankala. They also made FuFu for us for dinner. I got to try and pound it, but we ended up just laughing at my lack of ability. So, that evening we had FuFu and light sauce. That was my favorite meal here.

I have to say, this trip is so much different than my others to Africa. Living in a town with people is so different than being a tourist. I am learning so much more about myself and about people in general. Things I can't yet articulate. Perhaps, when I return home, my email will be deeper and not so time-line-ish. You are probably bored...

The next day we again worked the farm in the AM and planted sticks. Apparently they will grow into a fence. That day we had lunch with See-Saw and Comfort (see above) and Benice was there ordering them around. The reason for her presence is b/c Mr. Bansah (Anna's landlord) threw us a Bobobo (those o's should be backward c's, but there isn't a key for that on the computer).

What, you may ask, is a bobobo?? Well, I didn't know either! It was supposed to start at 2 and at 3:45 we heard the drumming coming. A huge mass of people came with drums and were dancing. Initially we had to sit and watch and drink coconut milk (I love coconuts by the way). I have to say I was really uncomfortable having people "perform" for me. However, it was short lived and I got to join the dancing. The women were really patient with me in trying to learn the steps. After the first hour I started to get the hang of things and was more comfortable. It was so much fun. We danced for about two hours until the Ghanaian football match (Olympics) started and those with TV’s or access to a TV wanted to go watch. I also got anointed by Benice and others with beads. The only odd part was the drunk guy who wanted to pay special attention to Anna and me. The other women took care of that. The best part was afterwards when I was asked if I played music. They thought my
dancing was good (I have tried - that means good job). They may have just been being nice, but, I'll appreciate it.

Today we went with Kosi and Kweku to a place called Tobor falls. It was absolutely beautiful. We had a 45 walk in and out and stayed at the falls for about 45 minutes as well. The guys are so much fun. Kosi and I had a good talk about gender equality on the way home.

OK, so there are two things I wanted to write about but had forgotten in my last email.

One is this problem of money. People here need it. Tourism is a great way for them to get it. However, it seems to me a form of neo-colonialism. Like these "white saviours" coming and helping the poor black folk and spending their money. I don't know. I just wish that things were different. I wish we could drop the debt and work to really repair the damage we have done. I fear that instead we will continue on this destructive path until we succeed in destroying ourselves.

I like Anna's village b/c I don't feel that sense of tourism and white hierarchy as potently as I did in the tourist areas. Plus, I've made new amazing friends.

OK, this one was rather weak on deep thoughts, but, maybe when I get home and have more time to process everything I'll be better with that.

This weekend Kosi Fred, Kweku, and Kosi Paul are throwing us another bobobo. It will be a blast. Jerod leaves, and after that Anna and I will continue to play in Sokode. I think she is going to take me to a place called Odamasi which is a bead market. They have beads there that were used to buy people. My stomach hurts just thinking about it all.

I love you all and miss you. I am safe and happy (albeit a little dirty and smelly. Om, if you pick me up from the airport, I apologize now).

Peace, krissy

Thursday, August 19, 2004 11:25 AM

The internet is really, really slow today, so I may get frustrated, but we'll see.

So. After I last wrote to you we spent another night in Accra. There I went to the DuBois center. It is the house where DuBois lived for the two years before his death. He was being haunted/hunted by the CIA and Nkrumah invited him to live here. So, he did. The house was interesting, I didn't learn a lot, but it was awesome to see. All you who took Paideia should know who DuBois was. He was an amazing Pan-Africanist, and much more. One story about him is that he got his Doctoral degree from Harvard. However, he was turned down for admission many times. 1) because he was black and 2) they didn't think a Fisk degree was prestigious enough. He finally got admitted but they still made him take undergrad classes and get a second BA.

There is a lot more that he has done, and it is your homework assignment to find out (just practicing in case I am ever a teacher).

In addition to visiting his house/grave site, we tried to go to Osu castle.

Unfortunately, they have turned it into a state house and you can't visit it or take photos. We did wander around the outside until someone told us to go. He was named Benjamin and wanted to "take us as his friend".

Hm. I'm a little nervous about spending time writing this, because I fear I won't be able to send it, but we'll see.

One our way back to Ho we took a tro-tro. We got on and after it filled there was a man who tried to sell a magic water bottle. It was a thermos and if you drank water out of it, it heals any disease you may have. "malaria, asthma, stroke, heart attack, and whatever, and whatever", "stroke, head ache, and so on, and so on". It even "heals diseases for old people in advance". No body bought one, but someone did offer a lower price.

He also was selling tea that helps with both malaria and menstruation.

Oh, one funny quote from the trip was when we were laying in bed one evening. Anna called Jackie British (she is from New Zealand). Jackie responded by saying "I wish you were Canadian so I could call you an American".

On a similar note, so many of the people I meet ask me about Bush and what the chances are that Kerry will win. Bush is definitely not popular here; they all think that he does bad things for the American people and the world in general. At least the rest of the world is pulling for Kerry.

Before I forget, thank you to all you who sent birthday greetings. If you didn't, don't feel bad, I forgot too for most of the day. Besides, I probably don't know when yours is.

Once we got back to Sokode (on the 17th). We went to Kweku's and said goodbye to Kosi. Kosi went to Kumasi (a city in central Ghana) for work for a few months. It was sad to say goodbye, but I did get to give him an R.

Kelly CD (he really loves music and didn't know R&B) and my Nalgene bottle.

The guys are really impressed with Nalgenes and the fact that they don't break. Kweku said they spent a long time trying to break it.

Ah, Abra (Anna's Ghanaian name) has amazing friends. I can't tell you how much I enjoy hanging out with them.

The 18th we started the day at the farm and then went to Kweku's for lunch/dinner. En route I got to meet the town drunk. She is also the town midwife. Another reason that Anna says she will not have a child here.

I have learned that I am not good at pingpong and am a failure at Checkers - Ghana style. The rules are different, but I am not sure I really understand them.

I'm still struggling with what I wrote in the last email. I want to rescind the idea that everyone can accomplish anything in the US. I think that was too privileged to write. I don't face racism, poverty, and everything daily. I walk the streets here and think about how uncomfortable it is to be chased and called "yevu", but, like I have said before, I am treated as if I am a celebrity or someone important. I may not want to be and I may do everything I can, not to be, but that's how it is. People of color in the US are treated negatively and have to stand out. I have gone jogging here and, as I traveled the road, little kids have chased me and screamed "Yevu".

Never have I felt scared. Someone I know in Decorah once got run off the road on a bike because of the color of his/her skin. One of my friends had eggs thrown at him and told to "go back to Africa". So many non-blatant forms of racism overwhelm daily lives. The average worth of a white family with the same income of a black family is 8 times higher! This is based on the history that is defining today. Because people of color have been denied access to "owning" they were not able to acquire equity. White privilege is inherited financially. There are so many other ways that I really should write about, but I definitely would take the entire day.

Basically, I am saying, that not everyone has the opportunity to do whatever they want in the US, I wasn't really thinking about everything in that last email (but I still feel the entrapment of Anna's friends. I am still wondering how much of my personal biases shape this thought). So there. I have a lot more to say about this, but not a lot of time. I have a lot to learn. I will keep doing so, and then try and fix it. Wanna help?

This morning Abra and I spent 2.5 hours waiting for a meeting that was supposed to start at 10 (she says that happens a lot), so while we were waiting we drew up a conversation outlining her typical experience as she walks through town. Here it goes:

Townsperson: "Yevu sister Abra!"

Abra: "Good morning."

T: "Fine, morning, how are the people in the house?"

A: "They are fine."

T: "Are you fine?"

A: "Yes."

T: "Did you wake up strong?:

A: "Yes"

T: "Are you alive?"

A: "Yes (to this, I think she should start saying no, and see the reaction)"

T: "Where are you going?"

A: "I am going to (Ho (city near by), Senegal, American (to make people laugh))

T: "What will you do??"

A: "I am going to work."

T: "Will you return early?"

A: "Probably evening time. (sometimes to be funny "three days", etc)

T: "What will you bring me??"

A: (normal) "Bread/ biscuit, (funny) three cows/goats/horses"

Or

T: "Bring me bread."

A: "Ok" (She doesn't actually bring it, it is just a customary things to say when someone travels)

T: "Come in time."

A: "Ok."

Three minutes later

T2: "Are you awake?"

A: "Yes."

T2: "Are you well?"

A: "Yes."

T2: "Is the husband well?"

A: "I don't have a husband." (which everyone knows already)

T2 (if male): "I will take you as my wife."

A: "Wait, and ask my father."

-or, if T2 is female -

"You should marry my son." - or - "You are grown, why?"

T2: "Where are you going." (see last section) 30 seconds later, encountering someone from out of town.

A: "Good morning."

T2: "Hey! She speaks Ewe! Oh, you try! (means good job) I will take you as my friend."

A: "Ok."

T2: "Where are you going?"

(see above).

On a side note, I won't be able to respond to individual messages today, the computer is too slow.

So, on a not so happy note, the meeting this morning was to have a photo with orphans that the NGO Anna works for is assisting. There was a little girl with them who flinched a lot, and was really afraid of everything. We are wondering if she gets picked on and/or hit. She was being drug along by an older girl who was Developmentally Disabled. I think it is great that the organization is giving responsibility to someone with a DD, but she was a very angry child and kept hitting the little girl. At one point the little girl was crying. The older girl hit her, and no one did anything to 1) reprimand her, or 2) to comfort the little girl crying. I guess I don't know what to say about it. I'm at a loss for explanation and confused as to how much my American lenses block me.

The photo situation was also rather taxing. I was invited to be in the photo but didn't want to. Too often the experience of Peace Corps volunteers is simply bringing prestige to a place because they are white.

That's the way it is, so, is it good if the volunteer does it and helps the NGO? Should they refuse because it is simply cementing the idea of white being better?

As I said, I am learning a lot about myself here. I have learned that I really am an American. I like the US. I love traveling and staying in places for months, but I don't think that I could live in a "developing" country for real. Maybe if I was with the right people who were able to keep me grounded, or if I made the friends who would. (Unless, someone wants to pay me to be a travel writer, I wouldn't mind that. I may have some serious improvement to do in regards to the actually writing, but, yeah). I think that my frustration with things I didn't support in the culture would make me crazy. I am not sure how appropriate I think it is to change things somewhere else. (But, if I was a travel writer, I could give a new perspective to those who read what I write). I think that empowering people who want to make change is great, but you cannot force a culture to change. Who am I to use my western lenses to say that something is wrong?

Who am I to tell women they shouldn't wear a veil when they want to? (look what happened when the Shah did in Iran - ok, that is too simplistic, but, you get the idea). Who am I to tell women they shouldn't have a circumcision when it would condemn them to a life of being single and therefore have great difficulty surviving? Basically, I don't think I have the right to judge the way other people live. I think that we all are within a certain group, and it is our RESPONSIBILITY to help that group live morally. I am a white American. White Americans have a lot of work to do within their own group. Anyway, what I am saying is that if I lived
elsewhere I wouldn't be able to deal with the conflicting emotions of 1) the problems I see and 2) the fact that my lenses are not theirs. Perhaps in the minds of the people living somewhere, the issues that bother me are not as important as others. Who am I to tell them what to do?

Also, I like running water and electricity. I like not smelling and not having to be called "Yevu" all the time. I like having the concept of "time" to have meaning, etc. So, while there are so many things I don't like about the US, and things I love about the places I have been, I have realized that I am an American and want to work on my own nation first.

(Before leaving I was really stressing about whether I thought I should work domestically or on international development).

OK, I think I should step off my high horse and send this email. Abra and I have other funny stories, but maybe I'll wait until people ask to hear them.

I would love a great dialogue with anyone about all this, especially if you disagree with me

Love and peace, Krissy